We all hate them. They are ridiculous. They are cheesy. Attention whores. We could go on for days, right?

But in reality, they are geniuses. Marketing geniuses.

They know we know they plan all their photo shoots. They don’t care though. Why? Because they are making bank! How else do you think Heidi manages to stay in Hermes and Louboutin?

People will talk (like I am doing right now) about how ridiculous they are, how staged and fake it all is but we’re just giving them more press.  And that is just making them more money.

So Spencer and Heidi – get that cash. I’m not mad at you but I think you are ridiculous. I know if I could $3 million* off a fake reality television show and some staged photo ops, I’d be all over that shit!

See with this post here, I’m contributing to Speidi’s retirement fund!

Fuck.

* No, they have really made that much. Seriously.

With their recent concern for their own safety and newly purchased arsenal of $10,000 worth of weapons, Speidi thought it was time to learn how to use ‘em.

We’re safe now, everyone. Heidi not only dazzles us with her vocal stylings but can shoot someone down in their tracks. And Creepy McCreeperson is now armed.

Maybe we will see them waving around AK47s on the Hills?

We can only hope.

Of course, there are more and it only gets better: here

Nah!

The cat claws were put away for the photo shoot though. Luckily, Audrina was in between the two or it might not have been so pretty. The cover could have been an awkward staring contest like most of the Hills episodes had she not been in the middle.

And here is part of the article from Rolling Stone

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Those of you who have been reading my blog for awhile, know I use to push my impeccable music taste on my freaders by way of mp3. Well, remember that French music I would obsess over last year? Pretty sure that is what has been on MTV all week. During The Hills? Yup, that was my girl, Yelle.

MTV, when you decide to play music again, call me. I know what’s up.

The wait is over! More useless information about Jamie is here! I updated my 100 Things About Me list, number 35-65 are brand spanking new.

Today is my day off. Yay! A day off for me! I am going to spend my day lounging with my pup, until my boyfriend wants to go buy Ocean’s 13.

Can I just say how I am a little upset that my cable is broken? I obviously missed the rumble between Heidi and Lauren, last night on the Hills. Thank God, the boy has DVR or I would be very upset. Not like MTV won’t play the rerun 500 times between now and Friday, but I want to watch this nonsense on MY time.

I need your help, guys. I am in a total book slump. Nothing is holding my attention, I need an intervention.

Suggest some books for me to check out?

I’ll love you forever.

Seriously.

Yes. I don’t even have to say who it is and I’m sure some of you know who already!

That’s right, I’m talking about that moron Spencer from The Hills, you know one half of Speidi:

The National Enquirer claims Spencer Pratt is out peddling a sex tape he made in Brazil. He reportedly made it with friends before he was with Heidi Montag and is trying to sell it and then make it look like it was stolen and leaked without his knowledge.

Now even though that is from the National Enquirer, I really don’t find it hard to believe. What do you think?