I hate beer. I have never liked it. Yes, I am one of those girls. Well, maybe I would drink beer that tastes like magic because, really, who wouldn’t? To me, magic is Disney World. Beer that can give me Disney World AND strawberries all in one sip sounds freaking amazing in my book!

Anyway, you know those people who are like “It’s Friday!! Let’s go out and get WASTED!!!@!#!”?

Yeah, I’m most definitely not one of them. I’ve never have been. Okay, I lied. Maybe a few times when I was 19 and living in the dorms at DePaul, but that’s really it. I’m totally over that and think it’s kind of lame now. Now when I go out, I rarely drink, mainly because I always drive and I’m super paranoid. Occasionally, I will have a drink or two. I can guarantee you though, you will never find me drunk. My boyfriend’s been dating me for four years and I don’t think he has even seen me drunk, maybe slightly buzzed but that’s it.

When I go out, I stick with the standard vodka and cranberry or like, a gin and tonic.

You’re all like, “Damn, Jamie, could you be any more boring and predictable?”.

Now, I plead my case. I don’t know what else to get! Seriously, I don’t like going up to the bar and looking like an idiot trying to decide what to drink. I don’t know the names of pretty, frou frou looking cocktails.

How stupid would I sound saying, “Yes, can I have the pretty looking drink in the funny shaped glass, please?”

So my birthday is next week and I’m going out to celebrate. Help me not look like an idiot when I go up to the bar.

What are your favorite drinks?

Yummy tasting, please! I don’t do beer or shots.

Last night boyfriend and I met up with a friend of ours at Flyod’s. I haven’t seen that kid in forever, so it was pretty great. We wasted a little time and then headed to Smartbar for Diplo. It was the 3rd or 4th time I’ve seen him dj in the past few years and, as always, it was a blast! I ended up driving, so I didn’t end up drinking. Regardless, it was a great time. Except for the slimy, sweaty dude whose spasms (i.e. dancing) kept making him rub against me and it was disgusting. I walked in my door at 4:30AM, slept until 1ish and woke up feeling like I’m hungover. Still overall, I’m happy we went out.

Tonight will probably be me cleaning  watching Grey’s Anatomy dvds, ordering in and crashing early since boyfriend is dj’ing at Douchebag Bar. Hopefully, before he goes I will be able to go to his house to watch the Marc Jacobs & Louis Vuitton  documentary he DVR’d for me.

Happy Saturday!

FYI: If anyone is interested, The Sundance Channel will be replaying it Monday Feb 18th at noon and Thursday Feb 28th at 10AM.

This is the first weekend since I have gotten back from Vegas that I have plans to go out! Out out, not just run to the mall or grab something to eat. I’m going out tonight to a club to have drinks and hang out with my cute boyfriend and listen to an awesome dj and have more drinks! I am a little excited. I got back from Vegas a few days before New Years Eve. Seriously, that’s how long it has been since I have been out!

What do YOU have planned for the weekend?

I went to this party at a club, I didn’t really know anyone, but the boy was dj’ing, so I tagged along. The place was chock full of hipsters. Dirty looking, asymmetrical haired, metallic legging wearing hipsters with big stupid glasses. I can understand trying to be fashion forward, but if all you are doing is going thrift stores and digging around in your parent’s basements for things you wore in the early 90s and looking for the ugliest shit, that is not fashion. That is fucking ugly. This is fucking ugly:

Getting wasted before you go to the club because you are too cheap to actually spend money or going up the bar and asking, “What’s the cheapest beer you have?”, just plain tacky.

The expensive art school education you parents are paying for is going to waste because you are too busy worrying about getting photo blogged when you go out next.

Or even worse, video blogged! You know because there is nothing better to do or more important than documenting each and every single move that party goers make. THAT IS OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE.

I could totally call out a bunch of shit here in my city right about now, but I am not quite ready to out myself. I kind of like the semi-anonymity I have going for the moment, but I can tell you, the time will come soon. In fact, I’m sure if some people read this, they’d know exactly who I am, but for now, I’ll leave it be.

In due time though.

In due time.

I go out a lot on the weekends. I’m definitely not one of those lame super club kids. You know the type that seem like they would hang out with the Gotti Boys. I go to good places. Anyway, yesterday I was out at this spot in Wicker Park (which is really awesome by the way, not like some of the places on Milwaukee avenue, like one that is next to where Filter use to be. Ahem.), the crowd there is always pretty diverse. You get a good mix of people in there but…there are always those people. The ones who make you drop your jaw like….seriously?!

Those people inspired this post today. I’d like to thank them for giving me some material to write about on this Sunday morning.

Things You Should Definitely Not Do at the Club:

- Guys, why in the world would you think it looks good to put on a long sleeved button down shirt and then a ugly graphic tee OVER that. C’mon. Really? Are you kidding me? It does not look good. Not even a little bit. It’s just as bad as the next one…

- Now I didn’t see this one last night, but I was having a discussion about which is worse. Button down shirt with a tee over or polo with a popped collar with ANOTHER polo with a popped collar on over. That’s a little excessive, completely unnecessary and it looks really bad. They are probably hideous colored too. Big Time Fancy knows what I am talking about. Oh and while I’m at it, don’t wear this or blazers with graphics printed all over it either.

- Don’t bother the dj. He is going to play whatever he wants and if your request doesn’t suck that bad and might fit in with what he is playing at the time, you might get to hear it. Don’t badger them that you need to hear it RIGHT THIS SECOND OR OMG IM GONNA DIE.

- Wear high waisted jeans that go up to your boobs, whine how you want to hear Gimme More until the dj just plays it so you will shut the fuck up because he just might punch you and when he does: you bust out in full on Britney Spears mode clearing the dance floor with your own personal choreographed dance routine. You were ridiculous but you gave everyone are good laugh. I couldn’t even look at you, because it was just THAT bad. You know you were thinking in your head, ‘This was how Britney’s VMA performance was suppose to look!!’.

P.S. American Gangster was really really good! I definitely recommend it. I found out a lots of things that I had no idea happened. It was great.