Things I have done this week:

• reconnected with an old acquaintance and making plans to hang
• was dressed and photographed by a stylist for LOFT (you can win a $200 gift card there too!)
• content managed until my eyes crossed while temping
• launched my new site aimed toward twenty somethings in Chicago: NextGen Chicagonista. Go check it out. You’ll probably recognize a few writers
• four hours of web training for a writing gig

Things I still need to do this week:

• edit NextGen Chicagonista
• babysit
• Chicagonista holiday party
• bang trim
• lunch date with the best friend

So yeah, it’s been nonstop all week. I’m exhausted and want to sleep for about three days.

What’s new? What have I missed around the internetz. Fill me in on all the good stuff!

For years and years, I’ve been a nail biter. It’s a horrible nervous habit. I constantly need to be fiddling with something. Whether it is picking at my nails, twirling my hair or playing on my iPhone. I need to keep my hands busy!

A few weeks ago, I decided to just stop biting them. I painted them a pretty purple color and I think that deterred me from biting. One of them broke and normally that is like the kiss of death and I have to “even them out” and start picking them off one by one. But this time, I filed it and changed the polish and I haven’t bit them since. I think I’m going to treat myself to a manicure and pedicure if I can keep it up for a few more weeks as a reward and to keep me going.

I’m mainly a dark reds and purples kind of gal when it comes to polish. The little color I do have in my wardrobe is those colors as well. I think I need some more variety to keep my hands looking pretty and to distract me from biting.

So give me some recommendations! Do you have a favorite brand or signature color of polish?

I’m thankful for my dad and that he is here despite all of his health issues.

I’m thankful for my sister, the best friend I have. I’m thankful for my brother, who is a punk most of the time but has a great heart.

I’m thankful for my puppy. She never fails to bring a smile to my face.

I’m thankful for my amazing friends. I don’t know what I’d do without them.

I’m thankful I have this outlet and such a fantastic support system.

But mostly, I’m thankful that I’m despite all the bad that’s happened in the past year…

I’ve found me.

I have a bit of a potty mouth. I swear/curse/cuss/whatever you want to call it a lot. I’m trying to reign it in though. TRYING!

I’m terrified of losing my dad.

I hate that I’ve screwed around so much with it comes to school. I should have a career and be more established than I am right now.

Thunderstorms scare the hell out of me. I love them though just as long as I’m inside.

It amazes me how fast you can move on after being with someone for five years. Was it that bad? I guess people deal with breakups differently but I never would have thought it would be like this.

I’m a pretty judgey person. And I’m not afraid of expressing my opinion. This can be both good and bad.

I can dish it out like no other but I can’t always take it. Most of the time, yes. But every now and then, not so much.

I’m kind of bummed I never had the “traditional” college experience. Or maybe I’ve just been watching too much Greek!

I’m scared I’ll never have something like I had with him again. The love, the comfort, the ease, the passion and the balance was all there. Will I ever find that again?

I worry all the stupid things I’ve done to my body may have screwed up my metabolism and I’ll never get rid of this weight.

Sometimes I wish I could just pack up, move to another state and have a fresh start.

Yesterday’s post had been brewing for a very long time. It was definitely time to get it out regardless of who reads it. Maybe some felt it was out of line or mean but this is my place to write and I refuse to censor myself. And sometimes you just need to vent. Thank you to those who commented, I appreciate it more than you know.

That aside, when the hell did it become November? Seriously? 2009 is absolutely flying by. I’m kind of okay with that though.

I think in January I will be returning to school. Clearly the no degree thing isn’t really helping me out regardless of my extreme awesomeness and degree in the internetz. And at 25 years old, I shouldn’t be right here. It is time to load up on classes and buckle down. Get this nonsense out of the way and do what I want to do. I guess I need a little piece of paper for people to take me seriously. But once I do get that plus knowing what I know = POWERHOUSE. I’ll be unstoppable, bitches.

(I’m not a school person at all, if you haven’t figured that out yet.)

Today and the rest of the weekend I’ll be hitting the pavement to find some super fun, retail work (Is retail ever super fun? I don’t think so). I’ll supplement my income with that and the babysitting I’ve been doing to pay for school and things I may need. I figure everyone is hiring for seasonal work so hopefully I can find something decent.

Places that should hire me:

• Apple (shiny pretty techy things PLUS a discount?)

Um, that’s all I got. Okay, all I WANT but I hear they are kinda super hard to get hired by so that’s probably out of the question.

Okay okay, I guess there are other places I wouldn’t mind. So let’s hope something turns up.

But I’m not stopping by search for work in social media. I know what I’m good at and that I would be a great asset to any team. I can always take evening or weekend classes if I do end up finding something full-time.

Yay for Friday!

This is what I go through to try to get at least one semi good picture of me and my dog together.

(Don’t mind the just air dried, messy hair and @wienermobile pajama shirt)

The past few weeks have been great. I just feel like I’m in a really good place. Taking some time away from the not so awesome things in my life and making time for myself has been incredibly helpful. My head is clear. I haven’t been constantly worrying about everything, picking everything apart and wondering what will happen next.

I’m ready for change. I’m ready to move forward. I’m not going to wait around for anything anymore.

Even when it comes to little, stupid things. Like being the first one to send that IM or text. Or clothing. I couldn’t tell you the last time I’ve worn a dress. The past few weeks? I’ve bought three. Or doing my hair before I go to the library because maybe, just maybe, the hot tattooed guy will be working. It’s these little things that no one probably thinks anything of but that make me smile just thinking about.

I’m grateful. I have good people in my life. Friends who will listen. Just be silly with me. Those who will help me plot my next moves and take the next steps to accomplish what I want. I’m getting to know people better. Meeting new friends. The ones who will drink and video chat with me since we can’t be in the same place doing it. People who just get it. That care what I’m up to. Who want to be around. And show it.

My life is far from sunshine and roses. I’m not perfect and I probably never will be.

But for now, I’m just happy. And I’m ready.

For anything.

All this time has given me a lot to think about. Things I want to do, be and see. Hopes and dreams. All that cheesy stuff. There is so much I want to do, I can only hope I get the chance to do it all.

I want to graduate. Be successful in my career. Pack a backpack and just travel the world. Win a ton of money in Vegas. Go to South America. See Machu Picchu. Learn how to cook amazing things. Write a book. Get married. See the Aztec and Mayan ruins. Be crafty. Cut my hair and donate it. Go to New York Fashion week. Go to Paris with someone I love and fall in love all over again. To teach. To learn. Meet Britney Spears. Yeah, shut up.

I want to learn yoga. A boy to write a song about me.  Go on a volunteer vacation in Guatemala or Peru. Own a 1967 Ford Mustang. Move to another city. Learn how to box. Get rich and donate a ridiculous amount of money to puppies. Make people laugh. Make people think. Go to wine country. Learn to play guitar. Lke more veggies. Hug a koala bear. Jets to Brazil to get together for a reunion show and be in the front row. To inspire and be inspired. Make the best red velvet cupcakes ever.

I want to finally learn how to put eyeliner on. An occasion to buy a formal gown. To be sent flowers.  Find the perfect little black dress. Be a princess. Go to Brazil. Stop biting my nails for good.  Be healthy. My dad to walk me down the aisle. To be able to give him money to retire and so he can work on restoring his Mustangs. Scuba dive. Etsy to hire me. Eat lots of pasta in Italy. Swim with dolphins. Make peace with my body.

I want to be happy no matter what I do or where I am or who I am with. I want no regrets.

Now who wants to accompany me in knocking some of this out?

You know how when you just aren’t feeling your best? Not even in a body image or mental state kind of way. Just your body doesn’t feel good?

I’m there right now.

I haven’t been treating my body too well lately. I’ve been blaming it on being unhappy and just sulking. The eating, the lack of exercise, the junk food. I’ve been stagnant for way too long. I don’t get up and move around as much. I’m not chasing after kids I nanny or walking around downtown or anything like that anymore. And it’s really taking a toll on me.

Physically, emotionally and mentally. It’s obvious to anyone who knows me and sees me every now and then, that I’ve gained a lot of weight.

But weight being besides the point, I need to start treating my body better. When I eat fresh food and more lean protein, I feel good. I’m not sluggish and feeling crappy then. Which is how I feel right now.

So I’m going to start being better. And not just in a vanity kind of way. Just a healthier in general kind of way.

Grocery shopping for healthier food, cooking, not eating out, more walks and even the stupid 30 Day Shred.

I need to start physically feeling good. I need to catch up to my emotional state which is getting way better. I’m embracing “I’m Awesome, Fuck Everyone Who Doesn’t Realize That” mindset.

Although I definitely wouldn’t mind lose some of this weight while doing the get healthy thing.

I know weight and body image is something I constantly address and I’m not very good at doing much about it. I use to be so good. I need to get back to that state of mind.

I don’t plan on making another “time to start losing weight/getting healthy” type post.

This is it.

There will be no more false starts.

This is it.

Two years ago today, I wrote my first entry on this blog. And for some reason, people still keep reading it!

Sometimes I feel like I’ve had this site forever and then sometimes it’s like really, I swear I just made this silly thing.

But what I’m sure about it is that this little piece of the internet helped shape me in a way I never thought possible. I didn’t start out trying to find myself, career directions or best friends but here I am.

I definitely haven’t found myself yet. This year threw me in quite a bit of a tailspin and I’m working on the transition of ME from US. When you’re an US for so long, you lose yourself a little bit. I’ve been trying to find me again and it’s hard but I’m trying.

Career wise, I’m getting there. I figure I know which direction I’d like to go in now compared to shying away from conversations asking what I went to school for or where I am working. I have a practical experience in social media from my blogs to my communities and I guess now it’s time to settle down and get the background education to go with it. I figure once that happens, I can officially own the internet and everyone will bow down before me. I’ll be like the Voldy of the internetz and crucio all the Mudbloods (newbs) who post ridiculous shit in my forums.

Just kidding. Damn. Don’t get your internet panties all in a twist!

(Also, that just got crazy HP nerdy right there. I apologize.)

(HAH. No, I don’t. CRUCIO.)

ANYWAY.

I’ve met a lot of bloggers this past year especially with Vegas and BlogHer. Many of whom, I met for the first time, but felt like I’ve known them forever. It was kind of like, “Hi. Just meeting you for the first time in person but tell me how is blah blah blah”. You just fall in step because you know them and they know you. And that is probably the best part of this whole thing.

When people say, oh hey, yay blogger meet up! I’m all, yay hanging out with FRIENDS! Like the whole past week: wine party, dinner with Lacey and Nicole, Chicagonista writer meeting. Not blogger activities to me. Yeah, we may have met through our blogs but I don’t think of them as bloggers anymore. It’s just friends. And I’ve met some pretty amazing ones.

Year two of Oh! How Lovely broken down:

Heartbreak. New friends. Vegas, baby! RPattz and ASkars. It’s Britney, bitch! Puppy birthday. Wine shots. Launching a newspaper. Leaving the newspaper! Nintendo parties. Bangs. Unemployment. Almost wearing leggings in front of Tim Gunn. Meeting the love of my life. Working for crazy people. Cheeseburger parties. Reading through the Chicago Public Library. Developing an obsession with Lifetime. Cheesecake dates. Adorable little French girls. Getting my first official pedicure. The fourth anniversary of my 21st birthday. Friends or Seinfeld? Getting ready to launch the newest Chicago website.

Someone give us a birthday tiara. I still don’t do party hats.

And year three?

Bring it.