Facebook is an ass and wouldn’t upload this photo so it had to go here. I hate it so much.

P.S.  I hate Facebook not my shirt. Duh.
P.P.S. Facebook friends?
P.P.P.S. Also, I won’t add you unless you include a note telling me WHO THE EFF YOU ARE. I hate when people don’t do that.
P.P.P.P.S. For the record, I could have also gone with Team 17 Year Old Boy With No Shirt

Those of you who have read it know that it is like crack. Moody, glittery vampire crack that I distributed and pushed on you all. My own copy has made some rounds and converted quite a few here in Chicago.

And to those of you who scoff and say you don’t like angsty teen vampire novels, I was the same way. NOW LOOK AT ME.

Then when you add RPattz to the picture? I’m done for.

So when Katelin got to meet and interview the cast, I pretty much was freaking out all weekend for her with each text I received and that led to this brief conversation with my sister (ignore the mural part, that was a response to a previous question).

Obviously sad pathetic fan girls don’t say fuck.

Only awesome ones do.

P.S. “Jamie in Chicago” from this video interview with him is me. RPattz knows I exist.This clearly means I’m better than you. (except for Katelin because she got to meet him)
P.P.S. And basically that we are getting married.
P.P.P.S. Registered at Pottery Barn, what up.
P.P.P.P.S. Haters to the mother fucking left.
P.P.P.P.P.S. This is probably the most ridiculous post I have ever written.

Anyway, yesterday I came across Twilight tattoos**. Unfortunately, there is such a thing because people get them.

Why?

I guess Edward dazzled them into doing it but really, is Twilight such a great piece of literature that you must have it tattooed on your body?

UNTIL YOU DIE?!

Well these people think so.

I know bring you the worst tattoos I’ve ever seen.***

Well, if you’re left speechless, that’s exactly how I was last night. And if that is not enough, here is some more.

* this includes: throwing himself in front of cars, protecting me from werewolves, telling me I am his life and of course, the sparkle factor.
** dude, just get a damn tshirt.
***I’m sorry if you happen to be on here but if you are, you’re a damn fool.

If you didn’t know (like, as in, you might be living under a rock), the other day was Jamie’s 25th birthday.  She wasn’t ESPECIALLY excited about it, which is something I can totally relate to, although her reasons might differ from mine.

(As in, she’s probably not crazy and doesn’t harbor major phobias about getting older.)

(And seriously?  If I could have, I would’ve sent her balloons and flowers and 19 puppies and Edward Cullen.  But I don’t know where she lives.)

Anyhoodle.  I can sympathize with Jamie about lack of enthusiasm towards birthdays, because mine is next week.

(I accept gifts in forms of jewelry, cash, and ponies.)

Last year, I had a VERY hard time with turning 27.  I dreaded it.  I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was an age that someone ELSE was, not me.  I know that probably doesn’t make much sense, but for me, 27 was iconic and scary.

Now, as I’m staring 28 in the face, and strangely enough, it doesn’t bother me at all.  A couple weeks ago, I was waiting for the anxiety to settle in.  I figured any minute, I’d be chasing Hubs around the house with a knife, yelling “REDRUM!” because he dared to bring up the idea of a birthday party for me.

(Best.  Wife.  EVER.)

Whatever the reason, 28 is looking just fine to me.  I’m embracing it.  It doesn’t scare me.  I’ve bested The Crazy.  28 seems settled, and on the right track.  Sure, it lacks the cute intonations of, say, 23, but it’s not a bad place to be.  I’m okay with it.

Besides, I got carded twice last week, so I figure my age-obsession is all in my head.

(Thank you, cute pizza place waiter!)

In today’s society, when people are completely focused on diets and botox and cougars and wrinkle treatments, it’s no wonder that a girl might get a little sidetracked and not realize the BEST thing about getting older:  MORE TIME TO MAKE FRIENDS = MORE PRESENTS.

So if you find yourself with the birthday blues, just remember that.

And let’s be real, shall we?  The WORST thing about getting older, for me?

Feeling creepier every year about lusting after a seventeen year old undead high schooler.

It’s kind of long and my formatting got screwed up but if you are a fan of Twilight or thinking about reading them or just plain interested in how a convo with either of us would go, check it out. Oooh, and there is pictures – pretty vampire pictures! Those alone are worth it!

Jessica: you’ve effin’ finished the SECOND book?!

Jessica: you’re on the third or have you finished the third??

Jamie: it’s ridiculous. i went to target saturday night and picked up the second and third

Jamie: and now have finished both

Jamie: i’m kind of ridiculous

Jamie: but i was totally sucked in and NEEDED to know what happened.

Jessica: right right

Jessica: i finished the first and definitely want to know what happened

Jessica: well, let’s talk about the FIRST one hahaha

Jamie: hahah i know right, jumping ahead of myself here!

Jessica: okay, so a of all, if i was fifteen this would be a tome for me

Jessica: as a military kid who went to three high schools and was always the new kid

Jessica: but i would have turned into a sulky kid, without an edward… so it’s good i didn’t read it in highschool

Jamie: seriously, high school girls are dying right now because there is no edward in their lives

Jamie: no one to dazzle them!

Jessica: oh gawd

Jessica: some her words though – like “dazzle”

Jessica: made me scrunch up my face

Jamie: really! i was like who says that!?

Jessica: there were a lot of really funny lines that made me laugh

Jessica: oh man! there was one that was SO hilarious, but i forgot to mark it

Jessica: it was like, “if he left i would only be left with a perilous anguish and depression” – cheese

Jamie: i know! it was so dramatic at times

Jessica: okay, also, nobody in the entire story ever smiled

Jessica: is the word “smile” in the book?

Jessica: all i picture are intense stares

Jamie: agreed. everyone was so serious

Jessica: she’s always disgruntled and edward is always just intense and silentish

Jessica: even the end when she’s supposed to be yay! happy! i’m alive!

Jessica: she’s all complaininz about makeup and a dress

Jamie: it was prom! that’s what people do! how did she not know about it

Jamie: obviously lost in edward’s dazzle-ing

Jessica: hahaha

Jamie: it made me laugh about the kid who showed up at her house thinking they were going to prom together though

Jessica: haha, that is true

Jessica: he was a little comic relief in all the “i’m gonna hunt you down and killz you” stuff

Jessica: and ps you can’t be with me because you’re gonna die and i will live forever

Jamie: and then OMGZ I’m old!

Jamie: you’re like a year older, chill!

Jessica: that freak out was so stupid

Jessica: she’s all sad on her birthday and angry on prom

Jessica: dude, your boyfs is hot and loves you eternally and you’re all disappointed with life?

Jessica: ps you’re alive, you almost died.

Jamie: okay this is kind of stupid but in the beginning when they were talking about how they dont hunt humans

Jamie: i was thinking well wtf how do they survive?!

and i was well Carlisle is a doctor at a hospital and they have blood there! they totes steal blood for like infusions and stuff

Jessica: hahaha great guesswork! too bad they like ‘em grizzlies and mountain lions

Jessica: okay okay okay important part: edward is fucking hot

Jamie: um YEAH he is!

Jessica: so after finishing the book i totally looked up the movie trailer and how they cast the movie…

Jamie: hahah i was going to bring this up !

Jessica: and that dude is kind of how i imagined him

Jessica: as in, that dude is fucking hot. oh hey! you fit!

Jessica: and then i saw him on perez today (i did NOT put those hearts on him) and his face is kinda lopsided

Jessica: or like, if you cover up one half of that pic he has a certain face and if you cover up the other he looks like another person

Jamie: i totally agree

Jamie:  i was looking at these stills earlier and he looked so good and i’m trying to find the stupid post with them

Jamie: when does the movie come out? november?

Jessica: december 16th

Jessica: what? how did i answer that so fast?

Jamie: http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/28878250.html#cutid1

Jessica: um, also, the trailers look really tied into the book, but still like a CW show

Jamie: i have yet to watch the trailers

Jessica: they’re like scenes from the book come to life, looks pretty good

Jessica: OMGZ HE’S SO HOT

Jessica: teenage moment.

Jamie: YES

Jamie: the one at the piano

Jamie: swoooon

Jessica: SERIOUS SWOON

Jessica: must. calm. down.

Jamie: omg edward stop dazzling us!

Jessica: hahahaha

Jessica: great casting, though in terms of looks

Jamie: i think kristen stewart was a good choice for bella too

Jessica: yes, definitely good

Jessica: i’m still looking at that pic of edward on the piano

Jessica: fact: this book made me feel like a teenager

Jessica: which isn’t a bad thing

Jamie: he’s all like, look at me with my Raybans. i’m all hot and shit

Jamie: and i say -  Yes, Edward. Yes, you are.

Jamie: hahahahahaha!

Jamie: i was so determined to hate these books

Jessica: me too!

Jamie: my sister was so disappointed when i told her i bought it and LIKED it

Jessica: i felt all teeny and wrapped in it BUT the writing was cheese

Jamie: definitely felt like a teenager

Jessica: i skipped over a lot of the exposition – like, i don’t care about the effin’ trees

Jessica: EDWARD!!!

Jamie: for real! she got a little too descriptive sometimes

Jessica: yeah, was not into that

Jessica: and bella wasn’t all that awesome as a character, like i said, i would be totally mopey if i was reading this as a teen

like, “hey she was all mopey and silent and stuff, but she got the hottest guy in school.”

Jamie: and was STILL mopey

Jessica: YEAH!

Jamie: what a waste

Jessica: i just can’t deal with people who can’t be happy when they should be

Jessica: as if she’s a real person…

Jessica: but, yes, i will give Twilight an enjoyable thumbs up

Jamie: hahah she is not a real person but edward…

Jamie: !!!

(Here, we proceed to fan girl out over photos of our new fictional crush, Edward Cullen. I’m not sure of the actor’s real name but whatever, even if I did, he would still be Edward. Anyway, while looking at stills from the movie we talk about a picture of Edward in the sun (vampires don’t always come out at night, duh) and in the book it says in the sunlight they are suppose to “glitter”. Did you know Jessica has mad photoshop skillz? Because she does! Read on…)

Jamie: like even in that picture of him in the sun that i sent you the post of

Jamie: he’s suppose to GLITTER

Jamie: i’m really curious how they are going to do that

Jessica: SPARKLES!

Jessica: that would be hilarious if they just covered him in glue and then actual glitter for that scene

Jessica: like, “oh by glitter, i mean he turns into a disco ball.”

Jamie: hahahahahaha

Jessica: oh man. i smell a photoshop opportunity here.

Jamie: that could be amazing

Jamie: HAHAHAHA

Jamie: I’M DAZZLED!

Jessica: vampires vom glitter, didn’t everyone know that??

Jamie: well they obviously will now!

Jamie: i’m way too amused by this

Jessica: hahaha dude, i just spent the time MAKING that

Final thoughts: It is a good quick read. You’ll probably feel like you are in high school again and/or finding your first love. Unfortunately, your first love probably wasn’t a ridiculously hot, glitter spewing vampire. But really, I give it two thumbs up!