Hi You,

Sometimes I wonder if we already know each other. Are we friends or maybe we just have exchanged the occasional pleasantry? Or maybe you’re someone completely new and I have yet to meet you. Someone who will storm into my life and throw me completely off my game in the best possible way. Whichever it is, I think I’m finally ready for it. I wasn’t for a really long time but I think I could be now.

I just want to let you know now that I’m cold all the time. 1) because I’m usually just cold and 2) because I really just like having an excuse to cuddle up close to you so I hope we fit together well. You know, me in the nook of your arm. Sometimes people just fit like pieces of a puzzle. Also, I kind of suck at the whole sleep thing so I hope you won’t mind a late night phone call every now and then. Hearing your voice might be that little extra push I need to help finally drift off. Just don’t laugh at me when I hit that super dreamy, slightly drunk phase right before falling asleep.

Okay, FINE. You can laugh, just make sure you fill me in on the silly things I say in the morning.

Please don’t get mad when you go to pull out one of your white vneck tees and find a few missing. It’s probably because I’ve been slowly stealing them. There’s nothing better than a men’s vneck shirt especially since it probably smells of you too. And hey, more than likely it makes my boobs look great so it’s a win-win situation here. Don’t complain.

It would be fantastic if you thought lazy days filled with chocolate chip pancakes and books in bed are as sexy as I do because I think that would be perfect. And here’s a tip: one of my favorite things in the world is having my hair played with. Twisting and twirling my long strands between your fingers long enough might even put me to sleep. Just no pulling, save that for those other moments. A little tug can be kind of hot sometimes, you know…

While it’s true that I do have excellent music taste, some of that does include cheesy, pop music so I hope you’re ready. This also includes being down for random dance parties to Lady Gaga and French electro because life just wouldn’t be complete without those. Or rock shows. I definitely need more rock shows in my life.

And I really hope my dog loves you because I think that’s the true test of a good man. If you pass the pup test, we might just be okay.

Chances are likely that one day I’ll just exclaim PENGUINS! out of the blue and hopefully you’ll be down for dropping everything to just go hang out and see some little, fat boys waddling around at the aquarium. Spontaneity? I like it. And I’m crossing my fingers you like to travel. There are too many places I haven’t been, things I haven’t seen and adventures I haven’t had. It would be nice to share some of them with you.

I’m not even going to lie, there will probably be days you walk into the kitchen to find a mess and me pretending to be The Pioneer Woman whipping up something amazing. I’m probably trying to impress you but I hope if it sucks, you just tell me so we can throw it out and order in.

I’ll always keep the fridge stocked with your favorite beer. And I won’t mind when you choose the boys over me because it’s likely I’ll totally choose the girls over you at times too. I’ll try to be interested in your favorite sports and other things and I’ll ask questions in hopes to learn about it but not so much that I’m annoying. I hope you will like baseball too and we’ll go to ball games. But please don’t be a Cubs fan because clearly, that just won’t work.

And sometimes we won’t even have to talk. I’ll be in my own world typing away on my laptop and you will be in yours doing whatever it is that you do. Occasionally they will intersect when one of us steals a kiss in passing while going to grab a cup of tea or pick up a book off the shelf so I really hope we’re okay just being.

But most of all I hope we make each other laugh. From the hushed giggles to the roaring, tear inducing laughs. I hope we’re not afraid to be silly. And sometimes even flat out ridiculous.

I’m going to stop now. I don’t want to give it all away because really, learning all of the little things about each other is going to be the best part.

Until then,

Jamie

On Friday when everyone was watching the Olympics Opening Ceremony and twitter was all like OMG YAY TEAM! LOOK AT THEIR OUTFITS! I was rolling my eyes and wanting to be like LOOK OVER THERE! UNICORNS! TEQUILA! DISTRACTIONS! because I just don’t care about the Olympics and wanted shift the conversation to something awesome instead. I mean, it’s not even the summer games and everyone knows those are the good ones.

Maybe it’s just because everything involves snow and ice and I’m completely over winter. I have enough snow and ice outside of my house, I don’t want to watch people play in it. Like they enjoy it or something. That’s just not right.

But I bet some of the snowboarder dudes are hot. Isn’t it like a rule that if you’re a dude who snowboards, you’re hot?

(Same with skateboarders, boys who play guitar and boys who write well. Type? Hi, I have one.)

(Okay, might as well throw in boys with nice tattoos and great hair while I’m at it.)

Confession number two: Despite all my winter hate, I’ve always wanted to learn how to snowboard. And not just because of hot dudes.

I’m kind of uncoordinated though so I’d probably hurt myself and fall a lot. I mean, I’m not expecting to do crazy tricks and jumps. And I’d probably spend a lot more time on my ass than I would being upright on the board but it could be fun, right? If I don’t break my ankle or die because I tumbled down a hill or something.

Okay so I just made a goal to travel somewhere amazing by my birthday next year. Another goal will be learn/attempt to snowboard. Maybe not this winter but for sure next winter.

For the tl;dr crowd: Not interested in the Winter Olympics. Snowboarders are probably hot. I like creative and sporty boys. I want to learn to snowboard but not just because of hot dudes. Will fall a lot while attempting snowboarding. New goal: learn to snowboard and hope I don’t die.

IT SUCKS.

Okay, maybe I’m being too judgmental considering I never really dated before. I’ve always managed to kind of fall into relationships and that’s worked out just fine for me. My last relationship began as a friendship and lasted for five amazing years.

But for real, real actual dating just seems like too much work.

I mean, first you have to meet someone which is hard to do especially if you have to be like two glasses of wine in to even consider talking to the opposite sex anymore. Seriously, I use to be good at the whole flirting and boy thing. Then I got into a long term relationship, broke that off, chubbed up a bit and now it’s like I completely forgot how to talk to guys. Forget about flirting.

Then there is the whole awkward, getting to know you process where I’m just like do you really want to know how my brain works? Here is my twitter. You’ll know way more about me than you EVER wanted to because no really, I DO actually think about Zac Efron, mac and cheese and apply Mean Girls quotes to every day conversation all in the time span of about 10 minutes and VOCALIZE it.

Moving on to the “let’s meet up for coffee or some nonsense” and I’m all dude, I don’t drink coffee. I eat like a 7  year old and prefer hot chocolate with a side of chicken fingers, thanks.

(unless you want to get me drunk because clearly, we all know I’m about the wine)

Prettying myself up. Trying to pretend like I’m interesting. Showing interest. Not getting distracted by shiny, pretty things.  Making myself available. Trying to be witty and charming. The Someone Might Possibly See Me Naked in the Near Future Diet and Exercise Plan.

IT IS HARD WORK.

Which is why I decided I’m not going try to date. I’m not going to seek guys out.

I’m just going to wait.

I’m going to wait for a dude to find my blog or follow me on twitter and fall in love with me. Then he already will know about my Crazy and Ridiculous but will just think it is Quirky and Adorable so we can skip all the awkward and just get to the good stuff.

I know. I know it’s kind of the best plan ever. I don’t have to do anything except what I’m already doing.

JUST KEEP BEING AWESOME.

Mark Ronson. I have a total crush on this dude. Boyfriend totally knows about it, besides he’s had Scarlett Johannson as his wallpaper on the iPhone for like ever. I totally don’t mind because, dude, she’s hot. Anyway, Mark Ronson — stylish and makes great music. Need I say more?

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