It’s like negative 30 billion degrees out here in Chicago. Yesterday while walking to the office, my hair was freezing, face red and my glasses were icing over. Obviously, I walked into the office looking absolutely stunning. Oh and then a photographer from the New York Times came in to photograph us later. Oh during the shoot, I was sitting next to Lauren (she’s on our ad team and awesome!), who use to be a model.

Let’s break that down:

negative 30 billion degrees + red face  + sitting next to model + NYT photographer = me potentially look like a chubby hot mess in a future NYT article

I know you are itching to see if it prints and trust me, we should know soon.

Let’s just pretend it was a bad hair/face/body day and be done with it. Okay? My other option is finding every copy of the paper and taking a permanent marker to me if a photo has me in it. If I miss any, I expect you to do the same.

Can you tell I’m not a fan of photos?

Tyra will be disappointed in me.

Jamie = Smile With Your Eyes FAIL.

McKey.

The big ass mouth and talking out of the side of it thing? She is so bad! And Sam in the final two?! Are you kidding me?

Whatever, America’s Next Top Model looks like the Joker.

FAIL

]]> http://jamieann.net/2008/11/20/seriously-5/feed/ 39 http://jamieann.net/2008/11/18/tyra-does-something-for-someone-else/ http://jamieann.net/2008/11/18/tyra-does-something-for-someone-else/#comments Tue, 18 Nov 2008 15:00:07 +0000 Jamie http://ohhowlovely.net/?p=715 Today on The Tyra Banks Show, she will be surprising Isis with a sexual reassignment surgery. Isis is from Cycle 11 and was the first transgendered contestant on America’s Next Top Model. The only reason she hasn’t be able to make the full transition is because the surgery costs $20,000-30,000.

Tyra will not be paying for the surgery but introduces her to Dr. Marci Bowers, a leading gender reassignment surgeon who has experienced the surgery herself. Bowers will be paying for the surgery.

But you know Tyra will totally take credit somehow.

Cycle 13 prediction: Tyra lecturing the models on how she performed a sex change surgery when she first started modeling at 15.

* But really, good for Isis. She’s been wanting this a long time.

(clip found here)

(gif from fourfour)

Then there was posing challenge with feet behind the heads and purses all up in the va-jay-jay. These girls need to open up a damn magazine and see how real models pose because seriously? Just..seriously??

Let’s get on to the photoshoot!

Let’s face it. The girl is gorgeous and so sweet she will give you a toothache. It seems like she is really nice and it’s not an act. This photo though, is okay. Doesn’t really do it for me though.

This was a huge bummer. Such a boring photo for such a gorgeous girl. Come on, Brittany! Step it up or we are all going to forget you.

Clark with no E. I still don’t like her. The photo isn’t bad though but not necesarrily good. I think she got lucky. I can’t wait until they chop of her hair or something. Miss Pretty Girl needs a new look ASAP.

Now it seems to me Elina just has that stone face look all the time. The throw some make up on her and ask her to pose and they shout from the rooftops “OMG GORGEOUS!” but she isn’t really doing much?  I don’t know. She’s kind of boring but I’m sure that will change when some anti-vegan/lesbian stuff comes up and then we’ll see some drama.

Her face looks great but I think this would have been so much better had she broken up her body a little.

How Joslyn manages to turn it out during photoshoots and still look the way she does in person? I’ll never know. She needs to bring down that stupid ass ponytail. Thank god makeovers are next week!

Before this photo, I could have told you who Lauren Brie was. I just didn’t remember her. This photo is to die for and she better keep this up because I love it!

I like Marjorie’s photo a lot. I still really like her even though she is always two seconds from a nervous break down. I also cannot stop thinking of Justin Long now when I see her thanks to Miriam! They are totally twins separated at birth.

McKey bores me. Boring boring boring.

Samantha’s photo was alright. I just don’t see her really being a model. Girl needs a makeover STAT though!

My girl, Sheena. Why she had to lie about her fake boobs, I don’t know. That was kind of weak. Those things will hinder her soon enough. Girlfriend already screams hoochie and the boobies just add on too it!

Isis kind of just looks like she was hanging there and someone managed to snap a photo. She’s better than this photo though. It’s pretty bad and landed her into the bottom two.

Nikeysha needs some food. She is all lines and not in a good way. I really didn’t see how her face was so  “stunning”. Glad she is gone. She talked too much and looked more like a dude than the one who was actually born a man.

So see ya Nikeysha!

Makeovers next week, bitches! I’m ready for some tears.

Let’s skip the bullshit first hour and get right down to the photo shoot, shall we?

Guess who my favorite is?

Marjorie! She is a bundle of nervous energy and is this close to start bouncing off the walls from it but I adore her. I love her look and she photographs like a dream. She also dresses ridiculously cute. Be my BFF, Marjorie!

Elina is kind of bland and not much personality there. I guess she has her story and all but I’m not really feeling her. She has piercing eyes and photographs really well. It should be interesting to see how far she gets before someone says something about her personality.

Brittany. Love love love her! She is stunningly gorgeous. This photo is fantastic too. LOVE.

I fucking love Sheena. Personality and sexy and just all around fierce. Yeah, I said it, FIERCE. She brings back that word. Christian Sirano and Tyra Banks…WHO?

Annaleigh is adorable and I really want her hair. This photo? Not so much. Hopefully she steps it up because I like her.

McKey. NO NO NO. This is not cardio kickboxing/cage fighting/martial arts. This is modeling. I can see incorporating things you have learned from it into your modeling but not looking like your about to knock out your photographer. NO.

Hannah has a great look. This photo however isn’t good. I don’t like it. I like her so far so I’m hoping she improves and maybe she will chase around Tyra again making moose noises if she gets too annoying.

Joslyn does NOT look like  model in person and when she opens her mouth? OH NO NO NO. She takes a good photo though, I’ll give her that. Danielle (or Dani, as she is called now) 2.0?

Nikeysha isn’t very memorable. I honestly wouldn’t have remembered her if she hadn’t been in the bottom two. Boring.

Sharaun was too cocky and judgemental. I didn’t like her and her photo wasn’t good. So SEE YA.

Lauren Brie is another boring one. I couldn’t remember her. She also looks like she has no eyebrows.

Samantha is so young. She is a baby. This photo came out very well though. She just needs to grow up and start looking and acting like model.

Clark sucks. She’s super judgmental and only has one look. I would like her legs though. Thanks.

Isis. Okay, I’ll lay it out straight. She won’t make it far in this competition. She is like the pity case kind of like Heather who had Asperger’s or Whitney being “plus size”. Yeah, they took okay photos but the only reason why they really kept them around is because they are “different”. It was all they talked about. So no matter how long Isis stays around, every time they talk to her or people talk about her, it will ALWAYS be about how she was born a man. Stunning photos and knowledge about the industry don’t matter. Her look is different and she is not commercial enough to be America’s Next Top Model.

Okay, I think that is everyone. I need to hear your thoughts.

GO.

No, not you Tyra, even though you invented love when you started modeling at 15 and lived in a room with 8 other girls, one of which stole your alarm clock.

It’s that time again, bitches. Get ready!

(all gifs from fourfour, duh)

]]> http://jamieann.net/2008/09/03/why/feed/ 39 http://jamieann.net/2008/08/04/uh-oh/ http://jamieann.net/2008/08/04/uh-oh/#comments Mon, 04 Aug 2008 21:33:23 +0000 Jamie http://ohhowlovely.net/?p=387

New readers probably don’t know this but last season I talked shit recapped it talked shit every Thursday. I also posted way more Tyra gifs than anyone needs to see.

Cycle 11 of America’s Next Top Model starts September 3. Get ready to smile with your eyes.

]]> http://jamieann.net/2008/08/04/uh-oh/feed/ 29 http://jamieann.net/2008/07/08/this-is-not-americas-next-top-best-friend/ http://jamieann.net/2008/07/08/this-is-not-americas-next-top-best-friend/#comments Tue, 08 Jul 2008 14:00:47 +0000 Jamie http://ohhowlovely.net/?p=355 What’s the most said phrase in reality television?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w536Alnon24]

I love Rich over at fourfour.

Fatima got the boot first.  Anya and Whitney were to walk in a VERSACE (what!?) fashion show to battle it out. Anya didn’t work it like I thought she would. Whitney was pretty bouncy and hippy when she walked.

Who took the title of America’s Next Top Model?

On to the gossip!

Does this girl look familiar?

Oh yes, it is our winner, Whitney! Whitney? Skinny? Didn’t she say she was chubby and got made fun of all the time? Hmm.. Now we all know that ANTM is rigged. Last cycle it was so obvious that poor Saliesha would win and this time it was no surprise that ANTM had to set it up for Whitney to win. I mean, really. Tyra needs to back up the “kiss my fat ass” talk, right? So yes, that was the first thing I said when it became clear when watching tonight that Whitney would win.

After watching the finale, I hop on over to my favorite blog with the best Top Model recaps, FourFour and what do I see? This entry.

Rich says:

“I’d call this a symbolic victory, but this is ANTM: if it’s not symbolic, it’s as good as symbolic. However, earlier this week, I received an email from a source that would like to remain nameless (and, clearly, close to my heart) that suggests this victory is super-symbolic The mystery woman writes:

I debated on whether to share this given my source and you may have heard this already…The source is this wonderfully chatty boy in one of my classes…who says he went to high school with Whitney. The claim is that Whitney did not try out for top model but was approached on a plane by someone from the show. She was already doing modeling as a size 2 or 4 but because she was closer to a 4 she was a little too big for the show as a regular model. They told her that if she went and gained 10-20 pounds they would definitely put her on the show as “the plus-size model”. She’s about a 6 or 8 on the show. He even showed us this picture of her when she was smaller which was from a year ago.

He also said that she was going to make the top 3. That’s why I held out from saying anything for 3 weeks. I wasn’t sure if anything was credible. But since the “top 3″ thing came through…

This email arrived, mind you, before the pre-ANTM shots of a much slimmer Whitney hit ONTD.”

Now how about them apples? What do you think?

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