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what unemployment has taught me

August 12, 2009 | me me me

This whole unemployment thing sucks as I’ve said many, many times before. But in a way it’s good for me.

And no, I don’t mean in the reading through the Chicago Public Library system in one summer kind of way.

It’s taught me a very important lesson.

I still don’t have it figured all out. I doubt I ever will have it all figured out. But I am learning a lot about myself right now. I’m learning what I want. What I don’t want. And more importantly what I deserve.

Yes, I may have a couple things against me. The lack of degree may be a bright red flag to some employers. And yeah, maybe I don’t have the professional experience that some might require.

But I have so much more to offer. I have first hand experience. I’m a writer. I do outreach. I build community.

And I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know it all. But I want to learn. I want to do it all. I’m not afraid to jump right in to something. And maybe I might fail at first, but the next time around, I know exactly what I’ll do to change. I love a good challenge.

Most importantly, I’ve learned it’s okay to say no.

Being unemployed leaves me with a sense of urgency, sometimes even desperation. Obviously, money is a stressful thing. When you don’t have anything coming in and the bills are piling up, it’s a horrible feeling. Feeling like you’re never going to get ahead again.

For a while I was willing to take anything that came my way. I was ready to do the retail thing or get back with the nanny thing or just take any job. Who cares what, as long as it paid.

I’ve realized that it doesn’t have to be like that. I would much rather hold out a little longer searching for the right thing for me. A job that will push me. A job that has faith in my abilities. A job that has me so excited to get to the office or to my computer. A job where I have a voice. A job where people respect me and appreciate the work I do.

The perfect job might not exist. It’s not going to be all sunshine and roses, I know that. But I’ve learned in the past few months that there is nothing wrong with turning down an offer that just isn’t right. And I have a few times. It’s alright to say “no, thank you”. I know what I’m worth and what I want.

And I’m not planning on settling any time soon.

37 Comments so far
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Good for you, lady. You deserve the best
.-= jenniferalaine´s last blog ..wyr wednesday: tiger week edition. =-.

I know something amazing is coming your way. There is no question about it.
.-= michelle woo´s last blog ..Mourning =-.

In a way i’m jealous that you’re able to do that. I’d love to have it as figured out as you do in terms of what i want to achieve workwise etc. Obviously the having no money and job sucks ass but you know you’re going to be able to get something just what you want when it comes around

Good for you. You’ll be fine. People like you always land on their feet.
.-= Kitty´s last blog ..Academia: Because we’re smarter than you. =-.

I wish I had the courage to say no to jobs I didn’t think were right for me. I’d have had far less jobs that way!

(Mind you, I’d probably have also been full-time unemployed for the past eight years…)

But man, would I LOVE a job that I was happy and excited to go to in the morning. It would be AWESOME…
.-= Paula´s last blog ..AND EVEN MORE SPAMMING . . . =-.

What a great attitude you have during what is probably a very difficult time for you. Keep holding out for that perfect job…you’ll find it!
.-= Ray´s last blog ..Job? Bueller? Bueller? =-.

Good for you for not settling! I’m in exactly the same boat, and I refuse to settle for a job that I know I’ll be unhappy in.

As for “Yes, I may have a couple things against me. The lack of degree may be a bright red flag to some employers.” it works both ways.

I have applied for several retailish / restaurant jobs and I have been told I am over-educated. They don’t want to hire me with my teacher’s degree. *sigh*

You go girl! Something will turn up eventually
.-= Taylor´s last blog ..TMI Thursday: Look Before You Pee =-.

You’ll figure out. Everything happens as it’s meant to.
.-= Andrea´s last blog ..One True Sentence =-.

This is a great post. I feel like I’m in a the same boat. And I agree- we shouldn’t be settling for anything! Something that’s perfect will come along eventually.
.-= AshleyD´s last blog ..Gap Jeans Party and a Giveaway! =-.

Don’t settle – I know how a lot of these feels, too Hang in there, girlfriend. You’re brilliant and awesome and you will carve your way into the right fit.
.-= Doni´s last blog ..The Intersection of Then and Now =-.

Learning to not settle is an amazing realization. I’m getting to the point of being unemployed where I now need to get a job, and I wish I could wait a liiiiittle longer =)

I’m very excited to hear about who snaps you up when you’re ready to be snapped up!
.-= Kyla Roma´s last blog ..Breakfast in bed =-.

I really wish I would have not settled. But when I was looking for a job I started to get so scared when no one was even asking for an interview. I took the first job that I was offered and I’ve been regretting it for the past TWO years. I wish I would have waitied. Hang in there!! You’ll get a great job!
.-= Carolyn´s last blog ..My hero =-.

Good for you! Loving what you do is so important. I’m sure the right job is out there for you.
.-= Lindsay´s last blog ..Mish-Mash =-.

Exactly! never settle…your soul will hate you for it. and besides, you’re too much of a rockstar
.-= thatShortChick´s last blog ..things that are awesome =-.

You are inspiring. Stay strong!
.-= Mrs Soup´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Oh Deer =-.

When you end up unemployed for 10 months like I was, you’ll go back to willing to take anything. At some point, you’ve just got to pay the bills, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
.-= Thursdayschild´s last blog ..Everyday Grace =-.

Good for you! You deserve a good opportunity, not just anything. There’s something out there right for you, you just have to be patient. I think you’re amazing & someone out there will realize that too.
.-= Maggie´s last blog ..Breaking up is hard to do =-.

You go, girl. Hold out for the best.
.-= Katy´s last blog ..The end of the chapter =-.

definitely a good thing to remember! I try to remind myself of that as well.
.-= Lollygagger.´s last blog ..pearl. =-.

Wow! Good for you You’re right, you shouldn’t (ever) have to settle!
.-= BZMomma´s last blog ..You Capture – Motion! =-.

I understand what you mean also being unemployed myself. Don’t settle
.-= Beeba´s last blog ..I’m Not Spoilt =-.

I can tell you first hand that that is such an important lesson to learn. You’ll find the right job, and you shouldn’t be afraid to say no to the one that just…doesn’t feel right. Seriously.

If you ever need any advice or just want to rant about how much being umemployed sucks? Email me. <3 I know what it's like *hugs*
.-= Heidi´s last blog ..Morning Banter =-.

don’t you dare settle jamie, you are a rockstar. the end.
.-= katelin´s last blog ..My movie family. =-.

I wish that my boyfriend’s unemployed brother had the same positive outlook you do. He’s become a slacker, begging funds from his family and not even trying to get a teaching job despite the fact that he has a degree in education. He doesn’t try. He mopes.

I’m glad you’re keeping your chin up and your pretty smile on in this difficult time!

Well said, sister! You have to do right by you, be it working at a job you like, furthering your education on your own terms, or what have you. It took me moving 800 miles away from home to a completely new place where I had nothing and had to find something to figure out that what’s important is being happy, and enjoying what you do with your time. It doesn’t have to be the “right” thing, it just has to put a smile on your face and make this life that much more worth living.
.-= Phil´s last blog ..The one where my head explodes =-.

Unemployment sucks. I’ve been laid off for three months and it gives one way to much time to analyze their own lives.
.-= golublog´s last blog ..poetry as found on commercial breaks =-.

This post really speaks to me, and I’m so grateful you wrote it–I can’t express how perfect the timing was. I just graduated from college, and I know that urgency and desperation so well–it’s like my entire self-worth depends on how quickly (or, honestly, if) I can get a job. I feel like everyone I know is watching me and waiting.

Thank you so much for reminding me that this life is mine, and I’m not on a deadline. You’re *so* not alone
.-= meloogal´s last blog ..The Devil Made Him Do it? =-.

So nice to know there is someone else out there with these realizations, too.

Unemployment has also taught me these lessons and more. I only wish I wouldnt have beat myself up over it so much when I first got on it, it wasted too much time.

I love you AND your not settling!
.-= Katie´s last blog ..Guest Post – For Better Or Worse =-.

I know I’m late commenting, but I totally agree with you on this. I was unemployed for about a year at one point and it was very difficult but I think it really taught me a lot. I hope you find something soon though, being employed somewhere you like is much more enjoyable.
.-= emily´s last blog ..Moving: Self Portrait =-.

I’m in the boat where I desperately need to get an income to start paying off government loans, but I was still fairly picky in my job search. My biggest learning factor is being able to go into a job interview and being comfortable letting them know that this isn’t necessarily your career path. I’ve been upfront with employers at fast food and retail jobs, and they understand where I’m coming from on that front. Especially since I just spent 40,000 cnd on my education.
.-= Rob Pringle´s last blog ..The Job I’d do – Just for fun =-.

being unemployed is tough. I’ve been there. after college, it took what seemed like forever to find a job! and I did say no to a job. and it was very difficult and scary because it was really the only offer I had gotten and the only one I could see getting in the foreseeable future…. but while I knew I could do the job and be good at it, I also knew I might get stuck in something (specifically, copy editing) when I really wanted to be in something else (writing). So, I said no and stuck it out and eventually, I got the writing job I wanted. While people may say you are crazy for saying no to a job right now, I also say that I understand where you are coming from and good for you for knowing what you want and knowing when not to settle. because the better opportunity might be just around the corner!
.-= Carissa´s last blog ..the More the Merrier =-.

I know exactly what you mean. I have been laid-off twice this year with the second time hitting me particularly hard. At first, it was how you described. I felt rushed and desperate to find something. Anything! But then I sat back and thought about all the cool things I can do now. I can learn to cook and to actually do it well. I can take that drawing class I’ve always wanted to take. I can focus on my photography. I’m now looking at it as more of a breath of fresh air, instead of a race to find money. I’m being picky about what I accept, because I don’t want to be laid-off again and I want to continue feeling happiness. I can’t do that with a job I hate.

I hope things start looking more steady for you and I both, no matter how that is sought.
.-= Gooseberried´s last blog ..Catholics be comin’ =-.

People always talk about “settling” in relationships, but you should never settle for anything. I’m not one to dive into a job, or anything else, that I’m not entirely happy with. Why make yourself miserable in the end? It’s truly not worth it. I highly commend you for holding out and waiting for the right fit to come along. Sure, money’s tight, but I bet you’ll be ten times happier in the long run, and that’s priceless (and clearly somewhat corny sounding).
.-= MinD´s last blog ..Aunt MinD. =-.

I’m visiting from 20sb, and I’m so glad that I did (even though I’m a bit late in commenting on this post). What you wrote really hits home with me. After graduating from college, I was unemployed for about 6 months before I found what I thought was the perfect job. After my training, they cut the position, and rather than laying me off, they stuck me in a completely different position that I disliked. After sticking it out a year and a half, I quit. Out of desperation to start making money again, I accepted a position, and I knew from the start it wasn’t what I wanted. I recently left that position due to marriage and a move, and my current job search shall go on until I find EXACTLY what I want! No more settling!

You sound like you’re in a good place as far as knowing what you want, and I admire that. I wish you the best of luck in finding it!

Good for you. You'll be fine. People like you always land on their feet.
.-= Kitty´s last blog ..Academia: Because we're smarter than you. =-.

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