{ jamieann dot net } » Blog Archive » I want to be a burlesque dancer when I grow up

What?

Okay yeah, I know there are two huge things wrong with this dream of mine:

1) I have no rhythm and can’t dance very well (it takes a lot of alcohol to get me to the floor).
2) I’m like 3272034 pounds too overweight to be a burlesque dancer.

One of those issues could be resolved though and no, I don’t mean that I’m going take dance classes.

Let’s hit the gym, yo! I want me some fancy lingerie and boobie tassels!

(What?)

I’m sure many are wondering what brought the realization of this dream on. Well, my best friend (formerly known as the boy) was going to be playing VIP host for the night and very last minute managed to get me on the guest list for Ivan Kane’s Forty Deuce.

Forty Deuce is a burlesque show that is normally in Las Vegas at Mandalay Bay but I guess they have hit the road. So they were going to be at the Venue in the Horseshoe Casino which is all of a five minute drive from my house. What was really neat about it was how they mixed musical genres. It went from a “classic” burlesque set (Hey Big Spender) to a rock set (Pink Floyd’s The Wall) to a funk set (with some Kool and the Gang). And in between each “set”, there was an awesome DJ, Graham Funke, who is a resident at many Vegas clubs. I’ve seen him play before, he knows his shit.

Best part about it? Watching the show with best friend’s parents. While some might find that kinda awkward, I was all: whatevs, boobies bring people together. And then his mom loudly saying one of the girls had a “fat butt”. I almost died laughing.

All in all, it was a great show and a lot of fun. I wish I would have had more guest passes and notice and I would have invited some Chicago ladies along. It would have definitely been a great girls night outing!

ANYWAY.

Back to my future burlesque career.*

Watch your back, Dita Von Teese**. My boobie tassels will be better than yours one day.

* I think my career is ending before it even begins.
** Let’s just let Dita continue to think I’m a threat.

‘

18 Comments so far

Girl, with the exception of burlesque dancers in Las Vegas, didn’t you know that most of them are a little heavier?? At least all the ones I’ve seen!
.-= Angela´s last blog ..Three Years Ago =-.

[Reply]

I’ve been thinking of taking burlesque dance lessons. If you’re ever in Austin, we can work on #1.

As for #2, pshaw. You would be a super hawt burlesque dancer. It’s all about owning it. Besides, you are not 3272034 pounds overweight. You are adorable!
.-= Jane´s last blog ..Virtual reality =-.

I totally think you could rock the boobie tassles. Is that weird for me to say? Yes?

Oh.

Woops!

Boobie tassels FTW!

I’ve been to Forty Deuce. It’s hot. Like hawt.

I would love to see you as a burlesque dancer. That’s kind of creepy, but I would be in the first row cheering you on, hot stuff.
.-= Renee´s last blog ..Wrapping up… =-.

Good luck with the new career path. It sounds like fun… seriously, I’ve always thought burlesque was super sexy and would love to do it if I didn’t weigh 8475634 pounds too much to look good!
.-= Ms. Salti´s last blog ..The Ambien Rooster, More To Love and The Deva Fuser =-.

Sounds like a career path that wouldn’t disappoint, you could see the world and it would rock! I say go for it. =)
.-= Nora´s last blog ..13 =-.

i went to a burlesque show a few years ago and was certain i could do better…of course, that was after a few (hundred) drinks

p.s. if you are 3272034 pounds too fat … that’s like … really damn heavy. what are you , made of lead? and bricks? lead bricks?
.-= miss. chief´s last blog ..it’s arma**********************geddon =-.

After watching Gypsy as a child I wanted to be a Burlesque dancer. 15 years later I still don’t dance.
.-= Jaime | Fast Times´s last blog ..Ohai. =-.

The beautiful thing about Burlesque is that anyone can do it! I’ve seen short, fat, tall, skinny, attractive, slightly less attractive ladies all shimming and shaking. I’va always wanted to try Burlesque but I’m too chicken. We are lucky in Dallas to get great burly-q a few times a year. If I ever tried, all my friends would be there!

If you have the cajones, go for it!
.-= Graygrrrl´s last blog ..THE BEST FILMS YOU MAY HAVE NEVER SEEN OR HEARD OF BUT THAT YOU MUST RENT/QUEUE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! =-.

i would love to go to a burlesque show, i am just so impressed with those ladies. i think we should start our own cross country burlesque show, haha.
.-= katelin´s last blog ..I won’t be getting a cowboy hat any time soon. =-.

Oh man I love Forty Deuce! Tickle me jealous I want to see pictures!
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..My Gap party – born to be awesome =-.

I’m totally thinking about burlesque dancing lessons. Why? Because I can’t dance for crap and it’s would be HILARIOUS to even attempt to try.

Oh, and I have a big girl crush on Dita von Teese. Seriously, too much hotness.
.-= Yolanda´s last blog ..On things I’ve never done. =-.

i did belly dancing classes and it was soo much fun – now I think you convinced me to look for burlesque dancing classes haha
.-= freeteyme´s last blog ..Look: Emerald Green and a big Thank You! =-.

Burlesque classes sound fun, but as usual indo is way too conservative for this. Boo. Bellydancing class is just not the same!

I totally want to be a burlesque dancer! And you know what? It doesn’t matter your size. It’s all about ATTITUDE. Just flaunt it, sister.
.-= sizzle´s last blog ..More to Hate =-.

I will totally support you in this burlesque dancer career you’ve got ahead of you. Seriously. Tassles make everything interesting…
.-= E.P.´s last blog ..The final goodbye and some realizations =-.

[...] seeing pictures of myself that have popped up from BlogHer and other events, watching a show full of hot bitches take off their clothes and some photos of something else that bothered me, it’s time to crack [...]

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