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sushi buzz kills and soy venti mocha lattes suck

July 13, 2009 | me me me, rants

I really wish I liked sushi.

And coffee.

But for some reason, I just can’t do it. It would be great if magically did one day.

When sushi is suggested, I’m all how about something that is a little more well done and wasn’t just flopping around in water? I just can’t do the raw thing.

Speaking of raw food, I was watching Wife Swap the other day. (Ya, ya, guilty pleasure. Shut it) So these two moms switched lives and one of the families was on an all raw diet. Not just veggies and all that but raw meats too. Like they ate raw chicken and beef! I kind threw up in my mouth a little.

Yeah, so back to sushi. It’s pretty. But I’d be the girl who ruins your sushi night out. I’m the sushi buzz kill.

I apologize in advance.

Then there is coffee. How convenient would it be if I just liked coffee? I need caffeine though so I go with pop. But there is a hell of a lot more calories and sugar in a can of Pepsi than there is in a cup of coffee. That alone is a great reason to suck it up and drink it.

But no, instead I’m the weirdo drinking pop at 10AM to wake the hell up!

Then there is the coffee dates, coffee runs and business meetings over coffee. I’m totally missing out here. Coffee causes some serious bonding and here I am all coffee and bond-less and running to a vending machine to get my fix instead.

And seriously, how professional would it be to be like on a business meeting and they are all oh, what can I get you? And I’m all a small hot chocolate. And they are like DUH, we don’t have small. We only have TALL or VENTI and I’m like JUST GIVE ME THE SMALLEST EFFING HOT CHOCOLATE BECAUSE I’M A 7 YEAR OLD.*** I DON’T SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE, SNOOTY BARISTA!

Yeah, that would make me really look awesome.

Maybe I still need to find my mocha frou frou drink. You know the kind that is basically all sugar, artificial flavors and whip cream and they just say coffee is in it but it is really just crack. Why else would you spend $5 on a latte everyday?****

* sorry to any of your raw meat eaters out there, I still love you but cook your food so you don’t get salmonella** and die
** I don’t know if samonella is what you get from eating raw meat so I googled, “dying from raw meat” and I guess you get parasites and that’s fucking sick
*** I was going to say 12 at first but there are totally 12 year olds who drink Starbucks Wandering around with their Ugg boots and mini skirts. Even THEY drink coffee.
**** CRACK.

59 Comments so far
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I’m a total baby about sushi, I can’t eat most of it! I like the plain veggie rolls, but those are the only ones I will eat, I can’t stand the idea of raw fish either!
.-= Lexi´s last blog ..always a bridesmaid =-.

I’m the same way. I used to love coffee, but I gave it up for lent and now it makes me gag. It’s so yucky. Sushi is hit or miss. Sometimes I crave it (like right now) other times I can’t stand it. My bf and bff love coffee and sushi, so I always feel left out when we go. But instead I get cupcakes from the coffee places and plum wine from the sushi places.
.-= Jackie´s last blog ..Etsy =-.

I drink my coffee black…

and there’s no way I could live without it. Sushi, eh? but coffee.. coffee is dear to my heart.
.-= Matt´s last blog ..strange creatures =-.

You should become a tea girl. That’s the best alternative I’ve found to being a non-coffee drinker. Super healthy for you and you can even get it at Starbucks

I’ve been drinking coffee for so long, it’s sad. And I can’t give it up. I’ve tried. Life without coffee isn’t worth living. It was bleak. I don’t advise trying to get used to it. But I have heard that you can train your taste buds to get used to anything in 14 days.
.-= Allie´s last blog .."Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear." =-.

Trust me, you are savings a LOT of money by not liking sushi and coffee!
.-= Andi´s last blog ..French Women Don’t Sleep Alone =-.

Ha! Jamie, I totally feel you on the sushi. While I’m a microbiologist and am creeped out by raw anything/potential intestinal parasites, what really gets me is the seaweed. People say you can’t taste it. YOU CAN TASTE IT! It’s a WEED! FROM THE SEA! WASHES UP ON BEACHES! You want me to put that in my mouth? Really? (Can you tell I’ve got some pent-up hostility towards sushi?) Also, I hate coffee too. For my caffeine needs I turn to Diet Pepsi Max – more caffeine than Mountain Dew, but with zeroooo calories. That’s where it’s at. If I’m in Chicago I’ll go on a soda date with you
.-= Sophie´s last blog ..It’s like the Twelve Days of Christmas with this girl! =-.

Oh me too! Sushi grosses me out. One time I saw someone eating raw ground beef straight out of the package in the food court and I almost vomited. And I am also the girl drinking pop in the morning for the caffeine. My co-workers make fun of me. I’m glad there’s someone else who does this too! We’re like food soul mates!
.-= Erin´s last blog ..Smiling in the bright lights, Coming through in stereo =-.

Oh, I love both! I limit myself to one large travel mug of coffee a day. Except for on the weekends I drink two huge cups of it.
And sushi…I love that stuff. It is definately an acquired taste… but man on man I love me some ahi tuna!
.-= Just Fine and Dandy´s last blog ..As of Lately… =-.

Yeah, I’m a lover of both sushi AND coffee. But what about tea? You can get a caffeine fix from tea – iced or hot. No? Hmm…

And what about sushi like California rolls that’s steamed crab instead of the flippyfloppy fish?

No? Hmm… ok, fine. We can still be friends and go out for DRINKS and REAL FOOD instead. Yes!
.-= Doni´s last blog ..Family Traditions =-.

Actually, sushi doesn’t necessarily contain raw meat. (I just found this out!) Sashimi does (it’s a form of sushi + raw meat), but sushi is just rice and it sometimes contains COOKED meat or raw meat or no meat at all. I was terrified of it before, but then I found that out by watching the Food network, so I tried some california rolls, and they weren’t bad. I’m still not a HUGE fan, but I may have to try it again.

I’m not a fan of coffee either, but I’ll drink it occasionally (mocha frappuccino). My mom HATES coffee; when she goes to Starbucks, she gets a mocha frappuccino, but she gets it cream-based (no coffee). You should try it like that sometime!
.-= Megan/SomewhatVoluble´s last blog ..A Little Q & A – Amber’s Questions =-.

I am with you on SO MANY of these things, lol. I am no fan of sushi, much to my husband’s dismay. I have found, however, that there are SOME sushi rolls I have tried (with all COOKED PARTS, THANK YOU) that are fairly tasty. Though I would still never just order it on my own; I only eat them under extreme pressure from my husband. I am very glad that most sushi places also offer non-sushi items so we can both be happy.

And coffee – I love the smell of it but am no fan of the taste. I’m one of those lucky folks who does not require caffeine so I don’t much miss it, and I’ve just learned to embrace my hot-chocolate-drinking 7 year old self. I’m also the girl who hates dressing up and wears horribly worn, ill-fitting, as-casual-as-business-casual-can-possibly-be clothes to work. And I leave my flip-flops on as much as possible, with a pair of hidden work-appropriate shoes under my desk in case I need to see The Boss. I have this whole semi-formed rant in my head about Business and Businesspeoples’ Views Of Appropriate Conduct By Others and how I think it’s bunk…but I’ll spare you. This is probably why I haven’t climbed any corporate ladders lately, and also probably why I should really get to work on writing so I never need to be seen in public.

You should try a White Chocolate Mocha and have them add caramel sauce. The gooey squirty caramel sauce, NOT the pump-shots. It’s like a liquid candy bar. That’s my Starbucks drink of choice.
.-= Kristi of Million Dream Mom´s last blog ..An Impossible Task =-.

Even if you don’t like raw fish (I don’t either) You don’t have be a sushi buzz kill! There are tons of cooked options (maki) that are super tasty and not slimy. One of the BEST rolls I’ve ever eaten didn’t even contain fish! It was a sweet potato tempura roll, so basically just crunchy sweet potato with some kind of delicious sauce on it. I almost died it was so good.

I feel you on the coffee. I like the smell, but hate the taste. If I need caffeine I just go for some tea with a lot of sugar and lemon in it!

Oh, I loooove sushi, but being vegetarian I get to skip all the gross stuff lol I would totally recommend ordering a landslide of veggie sushi the next time you’re invited. It costs WAY less and you get all the chic of sushi without the… you know… raw fish.

As for coffee, I can’t help you. I have a coffee machine, espresso machine, and a number of tea pots. I’m an addict.
.-= Kyla Roma´s last blog ..Hipster Envy =-.

I don’t like sushi either! My boyfriend is obsessed with it, which makes dinner plans very frustrating.

You should try chai tea. It’s kinda spicy/sweet. It’s good both hot and iced. I had to wean myself off of caffeine because it makes me a jittery, edgy mess, so I just drink iced decaf tea.
.-= KathrynwithaY´s last blog ..Some Days I Should Just Stay in Bed. =-.

i don’t like sushi or coffee either. i pretty much have the diet of a seven year old (really. pb&j, grilled chicken sandwiches, caesar salad and cereal) so that rules out all things raw and fishy i think. i get my caffeine in the form of lots and lots of iced tea. passion tea from starbucks is full of crack. it’s the only explanation i have to justify my constant need to spend $4 on a freakin’ iced tea. we should have a hot chocolate/iced tea date soon.
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..happy place. =-.

I’m not a sushi lover either but I am a huge tea drinker. I’ve become a coffee drinker but I would recommend tea over soda any day for the caffeine and the added health benefits.
.-= emily´s last blog ..wait, what? =-.

I didn’t learn to like coffee until I was in my early 20’s. I did it because No-Doz made me sick and I needed to study for finals. And because everyone met at the campus coffee house for meetings (pre-Starbucks on every corner day). I started with flavored coffee (not syrups – actually flavored coffee) with lots of sweetner and cream. Now I like good coffee but still can’t drink Folger’s or Maxwell House. Ugh.

Sushi I learned to like when I was 30. And it was actually the wasabi I liked rather than the sushi. I ate California Rolls (which have nothing raw in them) with wasabi until I discovered some other rolls I liked. But I’m still not a sashimi fan (just straight raw stuff – I like a roll with other flavors).
.-= Michelle Smiles´s last blog ..How to get Michelle to eat anything? =-.

I don’t drink coffee either and think Starbucks with their stupid naming conventions is idiotic. Seriously weird and cult like. And even though I don’t drink coffee, I have no problem ordering a medium passion iced tea. BTW, coffee may have fewer calories than soda, but how many people do you know who drink coffee black? Most people add plenty of calories through sugar, cream, whip cream and other shit that turns coffee into a chemical mess.
.-= SoMi’s Nilsa´s last blog ..Out =-.

I can’t say I understand where you’re coming from with the coffee (because I’m totally drinking an iced coffee as I type this comment) but I was exactly where you are with the sushi a few years ago.

When I started college, my roomie was always raving about sushi, so we went out one night and I tried a california roll and I was hooked.

Another type to try is tempura – it’s fried and EVERYTHING is better when it’s dipped in batter
.-= thatShortChick´s last blog ..Creature of comfort =-.

I don’t like sushi or coffee either. I’m a hot chocolate drinker, which is fine because seriously, once it’s in a cup with a lid, nobody knows you aren’t drinking coffee anyway. And at some sushi places you can get some hibachi, so I opt for that.
.-= MinD´s last blog ..A slightly late “Foto Friday.” =-.

Coffee is definitely something that takes getting used to, and if you don’t like it, you have to ease your way into it. It took me about six years to get from thinking that the Java Chip Frappucino (basically a coffee sugar chocolate chip milkshake, a good gateway drug) was too strong to drinking plain coffee in the morning. Your tongue gets used to it or something. (And then you will never go back.)
.-= Ashley´s last blog ..so, just how much crack you been smokin’, lady? =-.

Oh, and I’m with you on sushi. I just keep trying it, but I can’t do it. I can’t even bring myself to swallow, it just comes right back up of its own accord.
.-= Ashley´s last blog ..so, just how much crack you been smokin’, lady? =-.

Bwahahahaha. I guess anything people do regularly is bonding. I love coffee and I’m learning to love sushi, but I’ve often had these feelings about smoking, going out regularly, or even the smoking form of brownies. How the hell is it such a BONDING thing?! Thinking about how it is for me with coffee, I guess I can understand. Anything you can do with somebody that you BOTH like or love could be bonding, and at the very least gives you something to appreciate if you don’t bond ; ) .
.-= Pink Sun Drops´s last blog ..Upbeat =-.

By the way, the laughing was from all your asterisks that had me laughing hysterically at my computer.

First off, tea is a great alternative to coffee. And it seriously comes in almost any flavor, so if you do just a bit of tasting/looking you’ll find something to suit you.

And also, not all (not most) sushi has raw fish. You can get something like a Philly roll that has smoked salmon and cream cheese. There’s terryaki chicken rolls, shrimp tempura rolls, dragon rolls, all of which have meat that is not raw. A lot of other rolls just are veggie and don’t use meat at all.

Just a thought!
.-= Deanna´s last blog ..[12] Umbrellas =-.

I love sushi, but raw chicken? No, no, no.
.-= Jess´s last blog ..Year to date =-.

You know that there’s a lot of sushi that’s actually cooked, right? Like, a lot of it is.

And what about hot tea? You could get tea over coffee dates and breaks!
.-= Angela´s last blog ..Unspoken Words: Dream =-.

there is NO WAY anyone should be eating raw chicken! what the shit is up with that?
.-= hillary´s last blog ..And The Village Was Great Now It’s A Suburb =-.

Sushi — I agree, however I eat cooked or veggie sushi and it’s fabulous

Coffee — Sooo don’t drink that either. I’m with you on the hot chocolate. In fact, my office was doing a coffee survey awhile ago because they were going to get rid of a few flavors and I told them they better not cut my hot chocolate Totally professional, I say. But, if you feel odd ordering it, have you tried tea? I used to hate it, but I’ve turned around on it. And it sounds slightly more mature
.-= A Super Girl´s last blog ..Loft Style Living =-.

I’ve never had sushi and really- it doesn’t sound appetizing either. I really want to like it- but raw fish? eww. I started drinking coffee when I was 12, only drinking it occasionally when my dad had leftover coffee in the maker. Now at 24 I still like coffee, but have only made it at home (I’m not one of those- omgihavetohaveiteveryday either. It’s like once every 3wks). My friend however just introduced me to knowing what to get at Starbucks and I have to say I’m constantly fighting a craving for a Venti Caramel Frappucino Skinny. (largest size frozen coffee drink with skim milk, whip cream and caramel drizzle) Previously I never went to Starbucks because I seriously didn’t know how to order. Dammit for learning though!
.-= Reinventing Amy´s last blog .. =-.

Don’t feel bad. I don’t like sushi either. I can’t stand fish, I think it’s gross. Cooked or raw it is not for me.

Also I’m not supposed to drink caffeine at all since it makes me sick to my stomach in about ten different ways. At least you can drink soda!
.-= Jaime´s last blog ..Oh Monday, you came too soon! =-.

HOW ARE YOU MY SISTER!?!?!?!

sushi is awesome. spicy shrimp rolls, yes please.

and gramma used to give me coffee in small cups when i was like 5 where were you?!

froufrou coffee i like = venti iced carmel mochioto with whipped cream. i usually get extra shots so it tastes more like coffee but if you dont its froufrou but yummy.

I feel you on the sushi, but not the coffee. I couldn’t live without my coffee. Well, I could, but mornings would be much rougher.
.-= Ashley´s last blog ..The B-word =-.

Sushi is amazing, its not all raw either and maybe you don’t like coffee because Starbucks do something that maybe might resemble coffee if coffee was really dirt with hot water, lots of sugar, milk and cream to …. well make it taste better… hummm

LOL

They do have some sushi that’s all veggies and/or with tempura-fish (tuna, shrimp). I’ve also seen sushi with tempura beef and chicken! (btw, tempura = panko-battered & fried MMM!) AND sushi w/SPAM. If you’re not a fan of SPAM, forget I said that…

I can’t really help out with the latte thing, although I do tend to get soymilk instead of regular milk because 1) I may or may not be lactose intolerant, and 2) it usually makes the drink a tad sweeter – SCORE! Add some “sweetener” (they always ask me if I want some and I say “no” because I’m concerned they wouldn’t just ask if I wanted sugar) and chocolate syrup and you’ve practically got yourself a cracked-out hot chocolate. Oh, and say “tall.” =]

Cheers!
Jo
.-= Jo´s last blog ..Sucky-Day Cupcakes =-.

i think i saw that wife swap before, no way could i do a raw diet, not at all, oy.

and i don’t really like coffee either, but the mocha frappuccino has converted me at least a little bit. oh sweet sugar times
.-= katelin´s last blog ..It’s almost too much for one weekend. =-.

I’m not a big fan of real sushi, but give me something like California rolls and I’m very happy! If it’s tempura (cause, anything fried is mmm, mmmm good!) and I’m even happier!
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Vampires make my heart race… =-.

I don’t like the raw sushi either, but I actually enjoy the cooked stuff after yeaaaaars of avoiding it. Also, come to my coffee shop and I’ll make you something with minimal-to-zero coffee taste that you will love. I promise. And I won’t judge you. If someone else judges you for it, I’ll kick their ass. Promise.
.-= Renee´s last blog ..the story of what (almost) was =-.

OMG. Not liking sushi is like still having a hotmail email address to me. I’ll get you sorted out. Just start with tempura sweet potato ones and you’ll love it – I promise.
.-= Ben´s last blog ..Hi there. =-.

i’ve moved away from coffee to tea mostly. i do love a good mocha or light latte though.
.-= Allison´s last blog ..Hometown in the summer =-.

I love this post! I also love coffee, yummm.
Sushi? Not so much.
.-= Taylor´s last blog ..I Ramble on Mondays =-.

I live off both. Like water and air. But as long as you get caffeine in some form I won’t judge
.-= Meghan´s last blog ..Let the Goosh Begin =-.

I don’t like sushi or coffee either.

My friends tell me daily I’m not awesome for it.

They’re wrong.
.-= Just Playing Pretend´s last blog ..Sunday Lovelist on Monday v. 4 =-.

Coffee takes a little while to get into. I had my first cup when I was 11, mostly to shock my friends. It wasn’t until I had a semester of 8 a.m. classes that I really got into it. Be warned though- if you get TOO into it, you’ll find you can’t live without it!
.-= Andrea´s last blog ..Collecting Things =-.

You pretty much know how I feel about coffee. I just like it plain and simple, with some sugar and milk. I can’t go a day without a cup.
.-= Marie´s last blog ..New Home and Harry =-.

I didn’t like coffee until I lived in Italy. I forced myself to drink it until I enjoyed it. That seemed to work well with the cappuccinos AND vino. (Sad but true.)

And with sushi, I like to stick to cooked stuff. Or unintimidating raw meat, like tuna. But that’s pretty much it. I like the crab meat a lot better.
.-= E.P.´s last blog ..One of those ‘Awwwww’ moments =-.

I’ve never ever tried Sushi. Okay, once but I don’t really remember if I liked it. I’ve been dying to go out and get it, but I’m quite scared about it.

And there is cooked SUSHI?! I KNEW IT! I actually had an argument with a friend about this and she swore that there was no such think as cooked sushi!

Damnit.

Um. So at 8 AM I was drinking soda/pop/fizzy thing to wake up. People at work know better than to try and talk to me until that Diet Dr. Pepper in my hand is half-empty. (No calories! Try it if the cal count bugs you!)

I’m lucky that most of my friends don’t like sushi. Last time I went to a sushi bar I ate about five bowls of edamame and that was it.
.-= Rebekah´s last blog ..My Girlfriends’ Guide to Gaming party: A Night at the Museum =-.

I know what you mean about the coffee thing. I pretty much drink coffee with my creamer and sugar. I have to hide the taste of coffee to get by. And then I discovered my drink at Starbucks (Zebra Frappucino). It is not on the menu, but trust me it exists. And its all sort of sugar love and whip creams.

As for the sushi. I”m barely learning how to eat it… so I will have to get back to you on this one.

st.1
.-= St.1´s last blog ..if I feel guilty enough, does it no longer seem like a lie? =-.

Omg. I’m so glad I’m not the only one! I can’t stand coffee and wish I liked it because I love the smell of coffee but I can’t stand drinking it..wtf!

I always drink Diet Pepsi on my way to work (7AM!)… it’s never too early (or late) for a Diet Pepsi for me.

I agree with Sushi – I’ve tried it before and YUCK. My friend who is living with me for the Summer wants to go out for Sushi every once a while and I refuse to go with her.

I love you already! =)
.-= steph anne´s last blog ..Protected: Update on the Car Accident =-.

i TOTALLY drink diet coke at all hours of the day. all hours–including 8am.
.-= theedeeter´s last blog ..am i really growing up? =-.

i hate ALL sushi. i even went to sushi samba in nyc (which is known for being amazing) and i legit almost vomitted at the table. it was really embarassing and since then no raw fish or any fish for that matter will enter this mouth. i even hate shrimp.

and coffee. ew. gross. i am on the pop train – i usually drink 3 a day and one of those is wake up. sad.
.-= Working GIrl Two´s last blog ..Ships Passing in the Night =-.

Fact: I don’t like sushi or coffee. I’m more of a fan of my food cooked and served with a beer. I’m old school.
.-= brandy´s last blog ..Accio popcorn =-.

I’m all for sushi but raw chicken and beef? EWWWW I feel like puking. I’m all for coffee too but I can understand what you said about snotty baristas. They’re just sad because many people order seriously complicated things.

i don’t like sushi either.
.-= la petite belle´s last blog ..I can TOTALLY do camping. =-.

Sushi I can’t stand. Coffee I like.

I think that sushi must be an acquired taste. Or you have to have a certain gene to make it work.
.-= Kim´s last blog ..One Year Wiser =-.

We are soo the same person. I want to like sushi but can’t, and wish I liked coffee but am hooked on fizzy drinks and quite often can be found drinking one when i get up (usually before seven am) in the morning…
.-= Paula´s last blog ..PAVEMENT RAGE . . . =-.

I used to *hate* sushi. Now I like it, and I’m not sure what changed! I have only had a couple different kinds, and they’re the pretty tame ones. My problem is actually *not* with the fish but with the cucumber and avocado – too many different textures for me, and the crunchy/sorta-squish of those two just battle the other textures for me. I can’t enjoy it. I’m a texture freak!

But coffee is something I can’t get into – I like the whippy frothy sugary drinks, and I like coffee-flavoured things (hello ice cream!) but straight-up coffee is nasty. When I was a barista people would ask how the coffee of the day was, and I’d have to tell them “No clue. Not a coffee drinker!” It led to a LOT of very long, unnecessary conversations.
.-= oh, rebecca´s last blog .. =-.

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