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everything here’s about to break

June 28, 2009 | whiny things

This past week has been a rough one for me. I feel like I hit that wall and just need to get it out. Because if I don’t I might just burst.

I’m frustrated.

I can’t do anything because I’m broke. I can’t afford gas to get the hell out of the south side to go see my friends. And I’m not really el accessible so it’s hard to get around unless I drive or take the Metra which is super annoying. I can’t go out and grab dinner or drinks. Some friends were in town this weekend and I just couldn’t go hang out. It was a bummer.

The job situation is rough. I go on interviews and send out resume after resume. I’ve been hoping I wouldn’t have to go the retail route but it looks like that is going to be my next step. A very temporary solution hopefully.

I’m really trying to be healthier and get in shape. I have it stuck in my head that by doing that, things will fall back into place. I know it’s not the case and it probably won’t happen but I’m going to keep these feelings and use them as motivation.

I’m just kind of emotionally spent at the moment both with work and my personal life. I just need something to go right. Anything. I don’t want to blown off anymore. I don’t want to be second best. I want to be happy again. I want to be excited about what I do. I need some stability. All I want is to be wanted.

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Hang in there girl!
.-= Marissa´s last blog ..Living on Love =-.

Having that motivation is huge, and I know you’ll get there. Possibly when you least expect it, no less, which is the frustrating part. But it’s still true. You never know who you’ll meet or what random connection you’ll make, even in a retail gig, so do what a very wise friend of mine told me a few years ago… keep an open mind. Hang in there!
.-= Phil´s last blog ..Must. Chill. Out. =-.

I totally feel that way right now. I don’t want to go out or do anything at all, even if I COULD… We’ll get there, don’t worry!

Man, I hear you! I have been feeling like this pretty much constantly recently, interspersed with the odd moment of happiness . . .which means the crap hits me even harder in contrast. And I too totally feel like if i could get my body in order, my mind and everything else might follow…
.-= Paula´s last blog ..WHAT WAS I DOING WHEN MJ DIED??? =-.

Try to feel positive… Something will turn up. Remember, these are unusual circumstances. If it were three years ago, you’d probably be in a salary-bidding war with like three companies.
.-= Kitty´s last blog ..On a Fallen Icon… =-.

the question is are you really depressed or just frustrated? i hope the latter one is yours. you got very gloomy day seems but nice words actually . keep doing it lol.

It’ll be okay in the long run. Just stick it out, you can get through it. And once you do, you’ll be amazingly proud of yourself for getting through this rough time.
.-= Jackie´s last blog ..Mid year crisis =-.

I feel like you just wrote about my life… and I completely understand the way you feel. After applying for countless teaching jobs, I finally just went out and applied at every retail place nearby… *sigh*

I thought I spent $45000 so that I never had to work retail again? Apparently not.

I hope you find something… just keep at it!
.-= Shop Girl*´s last blog ..Shop Girl Turns 24* =-.

I have felt that way many times in my life too- you will get through it and soon this will be a distant memory. Just keep doing what you’re doing, keep trying and you will find a job. My best advice would be to do things that BUILD confidence because in order to have energy to be working so hard finding a job and doing all of that, you need to feel good about yourself.
.-= La Petite Belle´s last blog ..A reflection on my father =-.

Try to keep smiling, everything will work itself out in the end!
.-= Taylor´s last blog .. =-.

You’ll get there. Just don’t give up.

lots and lots of hugs

Oh and you ARE wanted!
.-= Marie´s last blog ..Great Systems Work Alike =-.

jamie,

first of all, let me tell you that i adore you. you know that. i think you are fan-fucking-tastic, even though i didn’t see your pretty face during my 20 hour chicago adventure.

i think at this point in our lives, we all feel this way. relationships are either ending or taking the next step, we’re all struggling a little bit to find a happy balance between being responsible and having fun. we’re struggling with figuring things out and becoming independent adults and it’s HARD.

hell, i went completely insane last year… i moved out of a house i just renovated, flew across the country, got my heart broken twice, moved back home, realized i hated life there and now i’m just trying to figure it out.

anyway, i’ll spare you the longest comment ever… but bottom line is, you are so not alone. you are a gorgeous, funny, smart, wonderful girl and you have so much to offer the world. don’t ever forget it. if you ever need to talk/vent/freak the fuck out, you know where to find me.

xoxox
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..confessions. =-.

First of all, you are a beautiful, hilarious and dynamic woman Jamie, there is all kinds of opportunity out there for you- and working a job so you can get out of the house and have some spending money in the mean time? That’s a fantastic plan! It sounds better for your heart and for your resume than just waiting.

If you ever need to skype or gchat, you know I’m here – and hell, I think you even have my phone number now lol You’re in a time of transition right now, and it’s hard, but you’ll come out stronger on the other side. Baby steps towards what will make you happy (like getting an in the mean time job) are still worth taking. Sometimes those are the first steps to finding your way through. <3
.-= Kyla Roma´s last blog ..Protected: Context =-.

I know how you feel girl. You are fabulous and I know something great is just around the corner. You just need to hang in there!

you know I’m always here for you!
.-= Maggie´s last blog ..When life gets tough, the tough get bangs =-.

Keep your chin up, Jamie. You will find that full-time job and you will look back on this period in your life as a time that made you a stronger person. In the meantime, don’t feel down about going the retail route. If it puts some money in your pocket and allows you to life your head a little higher, then it’s worth it. What about working the front desk of a gym where you’d likely get a free membership to help with that whole new healthy outlook?!?
.-= SoMi’s Nilsa´s last blog ..Nostalgia =-.

Sending you big hugs!

I know how stressful the job situation can be; I know several friends who are going through the same thing and I wish that I could wave my wand and make it all better.

If there’s anything I can do besides think positive thoughts, let me know!
.-= Nora´s last blog ..Excuses =-.

Keep your chin up, always hold on, the next day could bring all you desire!

You are beautiful and talented ~ there is a shift in energy everyday all day – always enjoy the journey ~

Hugs!!

~ Dwana

I have no great advice to offer but, just so you know, that I’m TOTALLY in your corner rooting for you.

*big, giant hugs*
.-= thatShortChick´s last blog ..So five years ago =-.

Darlin’, I’m sure that’s a tough place to be, but hopefully, if you explain your troubles to friends, they’d be more than happier to travel your direction to cheer you up. A good friend would certainly do so.

Take this time to do whatever you can to make you happy. Take that gorgeous Edie on LONG walks – exercise and fun for both of you. Do activities in the house, find some crafts or household things you can make. There are things you can do to keep busy so you aren’t focusing on the bad so much. Trust me, I had to find plenty of alternative things to do during some unemployment after college. Life is what you make it, and the retail route isn’t fun, but as a temporary stopgap, hopefully it’s manageable.
.-= MinD´s last blog ..Twinkle, twinkle, little star. =-.

I feel ya. I have a job but lately I feel like things just aren’t going right in my personal life. I also feel stuck, in a rut, unhealthy/outta shape and I don’t have much money to speak of even though I do have a job (weekly community newspapers don’t pay much!). but it will get better, right? we just gotta hang in there.

as far as the job hunt goes, just keep trying. it is super tough out there, I have friends with degrees who can’t get anything right now, but eventually the tides will turn. don’t let the economy get you down too much. everyone is having the same struggle. just know you do have something to offer, you are worthwhile and you are wanted!
.-= Carissa´s last blog ..things that made me smile this week… =-.

I feel the same way, so your pleas are not falling on deaf ears. Believe me, if I could do something to change your situation, I totally would.
.-= Kim´s last blog ..My Lucky Day =-.

Oh lady, I’m sorry you’re feeling so blue right now. I hope that things turn around for you soon. Taking a retail job sounds like a good plan – it’ll give you a bit more cash to play with and you never know, it could open up some fabulous opportunities for you
.-= hillary´s last blog ..Though You’re A Scrawny Pup I Would Be Happy Just To Cheer You Up =-.

I know exactly how you are feeling, after two months of unemployment I succumbed to part-time work in the food industry, bartending specifically. I’ve been there for going on two months and have faced multiple rejections for “real jobs.” It’s hard getting my hopes up when I go on interviews, only to be turned down. Don’t even get me started on budgeting, it’s tough to say no to going out- especially since I’m still trying to make friends in my new city.

Just know that you are not alone, and that there are people out there that understand what you’re going through. I have found such wonderful support through others blogs, it helps with the waves of anxiety.

Jamie, Jamie Jamie,

Come. Sit down next to me. Have a jell-o shot. I’m really good at making them.

Now that you’re a little bit calmed down I just want to say that you’re an amazing person. Though we haven’t been “Blog Buddies” for long, I can just tell a good egg when I see one. Also, DUH! look at all of the other comments about you that are mentioned.

Rough patches are…ROUGH.

It takes a lot of courage and energy to keep it all together when everyone else would expect you to fall apart. It’s going to be a challenge, but we’re all here for you. For richer, or poorer.

Oooooo, I feel you. This is so my life right now. It’s frustrating, isn’t it? I don’t have any advice, but I’m here if you ever want to vent. It will all work out eventually.

aw jamie it’ll be okay. just think in less than a month it’ll be blogher and you can crash in my room and we’ll get lots of freebies and drinks and have fun and it will wonderous
.-= katelin´s last blog ..Oh what a summerful busyful weekend. =-.

aw…hugs jamie. i know how you feel. but something will come through, i really believe that it will. you’re not faced with anything you can’t handle. hang tight and keep putting your best foot forward.
.-= gemma´s last blog ..In one word =-.

Arg. I’m sorry you’re not feeling so hot but, as everyone else seems to have said before me, it will get better. Hang on in there.

x
.-= nuttycow´s last blog ..So… do you come here often? =-.

I hope things get better, love. You’re doing what you should be. It will all fall into place soon.
.-= Maxie´s last blog ..eHold Me =-.

Thinking of you and sendin’ you lots of hugs. Just keep pluggin’ away doll. It will happen.
.-= Mermanda´s last blog ..Still can’t believe it happened… =-.

Um, I love you. And know exactly how you’re feeling. And am always here to chat/bitch.

Did I mention that I love you?

Also, I just watched an E! THS about the 15 most outrageous acts of violence (Columbine, Virgina Tech, etc) so… yeah, shit could be worse. And again, I love you
.-= nicoleantoinette´s last blog ..bubbles, middle aged men, and turquoise nipple tassels =-.

Aw, I’m so sorry it’s been a rough week. *Hug!* I hope everything works out. I’m so glad you were real and vented through your blog. I will say a prayer that you will find a job and feel some peace about things.
.-= Katy´s last blog ..Short update =-.

you and me both, babe. you and me both!
.-= kristinblakely´s last blog ..sometimes. =-.

i know this is late, but i want you.

did that come out wrong?

it’ll get better my friend, and i hope it already has.
.-= alexa – cleveland’s a plum´s last blog ..the one where someone bought me for charity =-.

I am in the exact same situation and 100 percent identify with your frustration. I was so looking forward to the summer weather and now I feel like I’m not enjoying anything because I, too, can’t afford it. Hopefully your friends at least understand. People here can’t seem to grasp the fact that I literally have negative dollars and am forced to alternate between noodles and toast for dinner. Good luck with your job search. I am about to turn to retail soon, too. It’s maddening.
.-= hautepocket´s last blog ..Monday Q&A: Gangster edition with Billy Mays =-.

Jamie! Hang in there! It took me almost 6 months before finding my new Nanny position. I was going nuts and had the SAME feelings and emotions you have. It will turn around, you shall see.

Keep your chin up!

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