It’s finally here!

I’m going to see Britney tonight and it’s going to be amazing.

Try not to be too jealous, guys.

I’ll tell Britney and the Circus you said hi.

and it led to her demise…

Sounds like a Lifetime movie title and opening, doesn’t it?

(Maybe. Sorta. Kinda. No? Okay, fine.)

Well, that’s my problem. I CAN’T get enough.

Of Lifetime movies, that is.

No, seriously. On the chance that I am home, whether I have a some time to actually watch tv or am working on something else, chances are Lifetime is on in the background with some poorly acted movie with Tori Spelling or about being unknowingly drugged to steal the wife and best friend’s inheritance.

It’s like crack. I just can’t turn away.

The fourteen year olds in high school who spread syphilis to all their classmates because they were screwing 10-15 dudes and the little virgin one is told she looks like Angelina Jolie so duh, she joins in the fun and gets it too.

Then LeAnn Rimes who finds her dad whose been dead for 10 years in a cave in a Alaska and falls in love with the new sheriff who, of course, solves the case.

(Which is also the movie where she meets the dude she has an affair with and cheats on her supposedly gay husband. No, that part is real life but it could totally be made into a movie. Maybe Tori Spelling can play LeAnn Rimes?)

And there is Lacey Chabert who is adopted but her real mom comes back and she gets a cat bank and finds out that OMG! it’s the police officer who is suppose to help her that is the killer and NO WAY! he is framing her dad.

(Lacey Chabert has the most annoying voice. For serious.)

I have yet to stumble across a teen pregnancy or eating disorder movie but with the way things are going it’s only a matter of time.

Maybe I should start thinking about a future career as a Lifetime movie writer? I think I have enough cheese and drama in me to crank out some really great ones.

Let’s just consider this little confession “my research” and never talk about it again.

(well until you see my name in credits as the writer for ‘She Was Too Young part 37′)

Seriously, people. CRACK.

* I’m so looking forward to the search hits I get with this one. STDs and Angelina Jolie in one post, that’s practically blasphemy.
** Lifetime, call me!

I’ve had dogs all my life. Really, ever since I can remember. We had my Leo dog (the greatest mutt ever), my Princess (who was my shadow 13 years), my dad’s dogs (including Winston/Smokey/fatboy) and now my Edie, who you all know and love. I really can’t imagine not having a dog in my life.

There are so many animals that don’t have families to love and they might never get the chance to bring that joy to someone else’s life. You might not be at the place in your life where you can adopt a dog or cat of your own or you might not want a pet but you can still help.

Who’s Your Dachshund? decided to help out 10 shelters in the US and Canada by forming Donate4Dachshunds.

Edie says every little bit helps so do it or she will NOM you to death.

Saturday night I went to go hang out with Maggie, Emily and Brittany and we played with fondant. Check out our awesome cake. Red velvet and yellow cake layered with butter cream frosting and topped with purple fondant.

and I decorated one lone cupcake

Yes, we will be accepting orders for weddings and birthdays soon.

• job hunting is rough. I have a possible freelance opportunity right now but I’d really like to be able to quit my part time job for something that is more fulfilling.
• being asked to freelance and come up with numbers on your own of how much you want to be paid is daunting.
• adding “TW” to everything because of Twitter is really stupid. Tweeple. Twosse. Contwext? Seriously, tw-shuttheeffup.
• I want to see 17 Again. I’m strangely attracted to Zac Efron. He’s prettier than me and most girls though so that’s kind of weird.
• I am in dire need of a hair cut. My split ends are out of control.
• a ticket for Las Vegas has been purchased. Allie, Jess and I are bringing Chicago to Vegas and it’s going to be awesome!
• Maggie is a lovely dinner and cheesecake date. We’re going to bake yummy things this weekend!
• I’ve been doing okay lately. I’m lonely though. I miss him.

Anyone who knows me, knows I constantly struggle with my weight and food. I’m always one extreme (restrictrestrictrestrict) or the other (eateateat) and it’s hard for me to find a healthy medium.

I’ve had a lot going on since late last year. I’ve dealt with a heart wrenching break up, an incredibly stressful internship which had me working 12 hour days, existing off peanut M&Ms and food ordered in from Grub Hub and left me feeling unappreciated, along with the never ending family drama.

Needless to say: STRESS = EATING

Too bad I’m not one of those people who just can’t bear to look at food when I’m freaking out about my life falling apart, right?

Well, obviously just by looking at me, I’m not one of those people.

I’m at the highest weight I’ve ever been at. The thought of stepping on the scale to confirm that, scares the shit out of me so I’ve been staying far, far away. I just know though. I feel heavy. Massive. My clothes fit differently. The thought of packing for a Florida vacation a few weeks ago nearly sent me into meltdown mode.

So it’s time for detoxing.

Cutting down the pop intake until I can finally convince myself to stop drinking it completely. Lean proteins. Fruit. Water water water. Laying off the carbs. Time to man up and step on the scale to find out that scary number to further convince myself that, no, I don’t really need those french fries. Time to extend those walks with Edie. Time to really exercise.

I know if I really wanted to, I can drop weight off really, really quickly. I know my body and know how to get things done but I don’t want my world to revolve around calorie counting, skipped meals and hopping on the scale every time I walk past the bathroom.

I don’t want to be a mess. The mess that I am now or the mess that I am when I work myself up into a crazed dieting frenzy.

There has to be a balance somewhere.

(And I swear to god, if someone comments with: “Oh it’s so easy. Just watch what you eat and exercise”, I will cut a judgey bitch. You have NO idea what it is like to really struggle with weight so shut your face. Seriously.)

I got back from Florida late Sunday night. It was a very much needed break filled with sunshine, magic and rollercoasters.

Even at 25 21 years old, I can’t explain the feeling that initial walk down Main Street and first setting eyes on Cinderella’s castle gives me. (sorry for the dark iPhone photo, it had just finished raining as well)

It also never fails to make me feel like I was jipped out of my childhood. I never got run around Disney World dressed up as a princess like all the little girls I seen this past weekend. Damn it, I want a princess dress and I want it now!

(Halloween 2009: I’m stuffing my ass into a pink Sleeping Beauty dress. Princess party, bitches!)

The following day was Universal Studios. We crammed both parks in one day which was either incredible stupid or incredibly smart. Let’s just go with smart though, okay? I geeked out a bunch over the signs that boasted of Harry Potter’s theme park being built. You couldn’t see anything because everything was blocked off but I sure as hell tried while we flying around upside down on Dueling Dragons. Rollercoaster are high up so I figured I could sneak a glimpse. Too bad I forgot to factor in the upside down loops, going a million miles an hour and screaming my face off thing.

(I will be there when it finally opens in 2010 nerding out hardcore.)

That night we met up with Lauren and Alexis, as well as a couple of Jenn’s friends, for dinner at some Latin place on CityWalk. The food was kind of bland but there was great company and Alexis and I narrated the cheesy Spanish music videos that were distracting us while we were suppose to be mingling, then the fajitas set off the fire sirens and we left only to stumble across this:

Yes, that is a group of eight people with a balloon hat. And yes, you read that right HAT. An eight person balloon hat and all eight of those people were getting down to the live band that was playing.

Together. In their balloon hat. Connected. Eight people.

What is wrong with life?

But I will say seeing that kind of made up for the fact that our visit with them was so short.

(I wish you could submit photos to Fmylife.com, except in this case it would be this picture with FYL (fYOURlife) because you look like a goddamn fool.)

P.S. Going from 90 degree weather to 30 degree slushy snow in the same day really is depressing. Things like that should be illegal.

P.P.S. A million thanks to my guest bloggers: Tia, Alexa and Jess. You all are the bestest ever!

Hi everyone! I’m Jessica and I blog at Everyday Adventures. I am your lovely guest blogger today while Jamie relaxes from a fun weekend in Florida (jealous!)

Now, I still enjoy a break from technology, but in the end, it’s good to go home Full of Wifi, Blackberry and cell phone access and functioning laptops.

(Today’s guest post is from the always fabulous Alexa from Cleveland is a Plum. If for some ridiculous reason you don’t read her blog yet, you need to fix that ASAP.)

there are laws against drinking and driving, drinking and boating, drinking under the age of 21, and in some states there are even laws about drinking and bike riding.

but there is one drinking and _____________ law that is missing from the world.

drinking and internetting. 

internetting (it’s a word cause i just made it up), includes instant messaging, emailing, twittering, facebooking, blogging and the dreaded online shopping. this included smart phone internet as well kids. 

cruising the internet while intoxicated is an extremely dangerous act that needs to be regulated, controlled and basically stopped altogether.

i can’t explain how many times i’ve woken up in the morning after a drunken night and looked at my twitter  and seen this…

“omg drinks and shots boy don’t like me no more dance home”

or i got in a silly disagreement with a friends and i decide to post a blog about it from my blackberry at a bar only to wake up in the morning and quickly have to delete it.

hell, right now as i’m writing this? i’ve drank three glasses of wine – thank god jamie is so lovely and trusts me and my buzzed up thinking.

gchatting boys semi-dirty chats? been there.

bought the carpenters greatest hits album on itunes? done that. 

all i know is that something needs to be done to make me stop – maybe i’ll start a non-profit and call it bloggers against drunk internetting. it could happen.

maybe there’s some kind of test that i can set up to take when i log onto my computer after a certain hour. like a really hard algebra problem that only when answered correctly would i be able to access the internet.

who am i kidding? i can’t even do algebra sober!

oh well, until something prevents me from drunk internetting i’ll keep doing what i do best… making a fool out of myself.