Let’s see…

I went to New York on Tuesday for the day. Wondered why there was garbage everywhere. Learned New York doesn’t have alleys (weird!). Ate in an Italian joint that felt like a movie with all the Italian dudes talking business in a corner table with their laptop and fancy water out. I hailed cabs unsuccessfully and walked around aimlessly in heels because I had no idea where I was. Mixed and mingled at Mashable’s NextUpNYC event. Drank wine and ate popcorn because I’m classy like that. Met up with some fabulous New York ladies and showed them how awkward I really am in real life. Missed out on meeting some of my absolute favorites. Ate a horribly overpriced burger and french fries you could taste the grease in at the airport. Proceeded to feel sick all day from it. Learned never to eat at Cheeburger Cheeburger again. Watched 3 episodes of The Dog Whisper on the flight home because Jet Blue rules with the tvs in the headrests.

I can’t wait to go back. And hey, I was only in New York for one day so just imagine what can happen when I get back there?

Then I came back home to reality. I’m not a fan of it these days.

I much prefer the jetset life. You don’t have time to think that way.

It all came rushing back as soon as I got home. I’m trying to do the right thing but I don’t know what the right thing is. I try following advice but then run back screaming in the other direction after trying because it hurts too much. I feel like people will judge me for the decisions I make and how I choose to deal with things. When that happens, I go back to my best friend who is the one everyone is telling me I need to stay away from. But he’s the only one who gets it.

I’m still trying to figure it all out.

(Please try not to be all Judgey McJudgerson in your comments because I KNOW you think I’m being stupid and this isn’t how I should do things)

In my last few posts, you all have shown me an overwhelming amount of support with what’s going on in my life and I couldn’t be more grateful to have such an amazing group of friends.

From the regular readers to the ones who came out of the woodwork to share their stories or just leave some love, I appreciate it all. Every comment, every tweet, every email and gchat, thank you. You don’t know how much it means to me.

Really.

And in more thank you news:

Last month 20 Something Bloggers held the Bootleg Awards. I was up for a few and thanks to you awesome bloggy friends, I managed to walk away with three of them.

I’m still floored about that.

I know this thank you is late but I wanted to wait until I had badges to put up. I wanted them to match my pretty new design too. Now that the design is up, the badges are going up!

You guys are awesome.

For serious.

Or you won’t be able to see my new design!

This blog needed a new coat of paint and I was well overdue for some change.

I’m kind of loving it.

What do you think?

P.S. I’m giving away a Nintendo Wii, a M&M Premium Prize Pack and an adorable dress OR cowl/beret combo. Go enter all three!
P.P.S. Have you read issue four of The Printed Blog yet? Download the PDF from our site and let me know what you think!
P.P.P.S. I’m going to do a video blog this weekend since I don’t have time to now.
P.P.P.P.S. Jenn and I are heading out to NYC Tuesday for the day. Get ready, bitches.
P.P.P.P.P.S. You’re so not bitches. I just thought it sounded cool. FAIL.

Sometimes you just need a day with your best friend. I’m in need of one of those.

If you tell me how you would ideally spend a night with the girls, you might win one of these awesome M&M Premium prize packs!

Check out my review blog to enter!

If that isn’t the most bitter title for a blog post ever, I don’t know what is. Regardless of the state of my heart at the moment, I still wanted to post about this project.

Why?

Because I’m a masochist hopeless romantic.

I Love You More Than ______.

I found it through Kyla, I think. It tugged at my heartstrings and I submitted one of my own (which is in this little collage of ones I found that I like). Kind of like Post Secret but for big sappy people like myself.

Now if you will excuse me, I’m go to drown my sorrows with a bottle of wine and assorted snacks. I only have one weekend to sulk before I start Project Hit The Gym/Diet And Throw Myself Into My Work So I Look So Fucking Hot And Am So Sucessful You Will Completely Regret This Stupid Fucking Decision.

P.S. The Jonas Brothers one is for Jenn because she hates when I say Joe Jonas is hot.
P.P.S. Yum.
P.P.P.S. Not jailbait, bitches. He’s like 22 or something.

How does one adjust when the person you’ve been involved with for five years isn’t feeling the same anymore? They were your lover and your best friend all rolled into one but for them the timing just isn’t right anymore.

Can you still be friends when one is so heartbroken?

Do you stop trying to be friends because it hurts too much?

Or try because it hurts too much to lose them completely?

It’s like I can’t win.

It hurts too much to try but I can’t imagine my life without him in it, whatever role he may have.

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t have my boyfriend.

I don’t have my best friend.

I never felt more alone than I do right now even though I’m surrounded by people who care.

I’m lost.

This weekend I watched The Wackness. I’ve been wanting to see it since it was in theaters.

It’s 1994 in New York, Luke Shapiro deals drugs in the summer before leaving for college. He strikes up an unlikely friendship with his shrink who gives him sessions in exchange for weed. The music, the acting, everything is great.

Netflix it!

When everything in your personal life is kind of crazy, when you only have a whisper of a relationship left because it’s now a “friendship”, when you work 6, if not 7, days a week and are about to go cross eyed from staring at your computer so much, when all you really want to do is sleep and lay around with your puppy…

Sometimes all you need is a haircut.

No, really.

I know sometimes in movies, salons are made out to be full of gossipy women who vent and rant to their hair stylists.  But really, my stylist rocks. While I filled her in on what’s been happening since the last time I see her and she snipped away at my hair, she listened and wasn’t just feigning interest. Then she gave me her thoughts on it.

And she’s right. All I needed was a little perspective, especially from someone who isn’t all wrapped up in my life.

I walked out with a new way of looking at things, some great conversation and an all around fierce head of hair.

P.S. That’s a picture I took last night, you can’t really tell but it’s about 3 inches shorter, layers are cleaned up and I have a bang again.
P.P.S. Chicago, if you need an amazing stylist talk to Mary at Orbit Salon. I also found out last night that she blogs too! Go say hi to her!
P.P.P.S. Just don’t try to book her when I’m in need of a hair cut or we will be in a fight.
P.P.P.P.S. No, seriously,I will kick some ass when it comes down to pretty hair.

(And don’t forget you can still ask me questions here and I’ll post answers soon)

I know you all have a burning desire to ask me things.

Now is your chance.

Ask me whatever  your little heart desires. I’ll post the answers soon.

Go.