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September 23, 2008 | family

It was the summer before eighth grade. I remember the morning well. It was early, about 8AM and I was just about ready to get into the shower and was walking into the bathroom. Out of nowhere I hear my dad screaming from the basement to get out of the house. He yelled that it was on fire and we needed to get out now.

I grabbed my little dog, rounded together my brother and sister and rushed out front. I ran to my best friend’s two houses down and pounded on the their screen door for them to call 911. This was back in the days of dial-up and my best friend had been on the internet so her mom was screaming at her to get off the damn computer so she can make the call. My dad had brought my other dog, Leo, from the backyard to go into theirs with their dog, Toto. He was a corgi now that I think about it, I haven’t thought about that dog in ages.

The few hours after that were kind of a blur. I remember two fire engines showing up. My uncle on one of them. Later I seen him on my roof, cutting holes into it so the smoke would come out. Everyone was gathered around like it was some kind of spectacle, eyes wide staring at us because we were crying or in shock waiting to see how we would react. My mother’s boss drove her home from work as soon as she heard the new and she ran out of the car in disbelief. It was our home.

Now it was gone.

Once the house was declared stable, we were able to go in and see if anything was salvageable. I remember walking into my room, my posters of my latest boy crush from the pages of Teen Beat or BOP were just remnants and ashes. My vanity given to me by my cousin was now smashed to pieces. My Tigger backpack that was the coolest thing in school was toast. I’d no longer match with my best friends. Stuffed animals were strewn across the room. I rescued all my old Sesame Street ones and Red the Fraggle. I still have them today in a box in my closet. The scent of smoke still lingers on them.

Earlier this weekend, I drove past a house that had a bonfire going outside. All these memories and smells and sounds came rushing back and everything replayed in my head so vividly.Â I often wonder if the smell of something burning will always me anxious. If ambulances and firetrucks on my block will always make me nervous and if the sound of sirens near by will always make my heart race.

Sometimes I wish it would just go away. But after that happened, it was one of the only times I ever felt like my family was truly that.

A family.

I think I’d like to hold on to that feeling.

For a little longer at least.

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Yikes! That must have been so scary.

That has always been one of my biggest fears, my house burning to the ground and losing all my belongings. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be. I’m glad your family was able to pull together and be a family through it all.

My worst fear is for my house to burn down…maybe since it already happened once in your life that means it will never happen again. i hope so.

What a scary thing to go through. I’m glad nobody was hurt when it happened. Moments like those stay with you for life; I hope it stays with you more sweetly than bitter.

Wow…I’m sorry to hear about your tigger backpack.

Some things aren’t supposed to be forgotten.

Wow! that’s quite a memory.

That is a terrifying experience. I’m glad you and your family were able to get out and are well. I also hope you have that family feeling for a very long time.

*lots of hugs*

I think it’s incredible how sensitive our senses are to our memories. The fact that a burning leaf could bring you back to a specific day and time just blows my mind. Okay, that’s totally not the point of this post, but that’s the geek side of me speaking. Moving along…

This had to have been scary for you. I couldn’t imagine losing everything. At least you and your family were safe. I think it’s okay to hang onto the memories of when you felt like a family…even if those memories involve a tragedy.

oh wow. thank god you all made it out okay, sans the tigger backpack..
how did the fire start?

Wow, that has always been one of my biggest fears. I sometimes get a little OCD and check the whole house several times before I leave, just to make sure there aren’t any imminent fire hazards.

It’s amazing how and experience like that can stir such complex emotions of loss and unity.

I’m so sorry this happened. I had a friend who lost her house as a pre-teen and it still gives her panic attacks. Big hugs, girl!

Wow – what an incredible story. Of course, losing your home is a terrible tragedy but maybe the silver lining is that for the rest of your life, you have the memory of your family pulling together to make it through a tough time.

I think scent/smell is the most powerful memory trigger. For me it can be anything, fabric softener, a baking/cooking smell, a scented candle and I immediately turn into a big puddle of nostalgia!

that’s such a bittersweet memory. Just to think of that happening to me makes me nervous!

ohmygosh jamie that is so scary. i can’t imagine going through something like that. at least your family was okay and as you said, felt like a family together. it’s always the rough times that bring us together most.

Oh Jamie, this was sad and beautiful all at the same time. I’m sending all my best thoughts your way for what your family is going through right now. Chin up honey.

That is awful! I couldn’t imagine losing everything, that would be so traumatic! Glad you all made it out and don’t worry, someday everything will work out one way or another. It just doesn’t seem like it right now! Keep your head up!

Oh my goodness….sensory memory is so accurate too, I’m sorry you had to relive that, but it’s good that it gives you pause to think about family – even if it’s bittersweet.

The sense of true family is one that we all long for. Remembering moments like that is important.

we talked about this yesterday but im glad you wrote about it only cause i feel it makes it easier to deal with when its out in the open, at least thats how it is for me. for people to understand why i am the way i am on how this event effected who i am today deeply.

unfortunately tragedy often pushes us together… beautiful post, my dear.

that is one of my biggest fears. I’m so paranoid about it– practically 24/7.

i’m so sorry you had to go through that.

What a wonderful post. I’m glad you were all okay. I’ve never been in that situation but I can only imagine how scary it must have been. As you know my parents are divorced, I still hold onto certain memories of when we were “together”. Don’t forget them and don’t try to push them away eventually. Keep them.

Beautifully written. I’m stunned.

I’m just glad to know that everyone made it out ok. And I would have been sad about the Tigger backpack too.

And also, I hope things get easier for you and your family soon…

It’s funny how certain things stay with you. I’m with you on the smell of burning- though I wasn’t there to see my place burn down, coming back to the smell of fire… it just stuck with me. Even know, though I like the smell of campfire, my stomach drops the first time I smell it.

What a horrible event. I’m glad some things were salvageable for you. Sometimes memories are the best things to hang on to, as the present changes and can be difficult to deal with.

wow, i would have been so scared. why is it that tragedy brings family/friends together – even for a short time.

why can’t it just be always?

i’m so sorry you had to go through that. a boy best friend of mine lived behind me all through elementary up through our senior, until his house burnt down. i cried when i saw. its so devestating.

Oh my gosh, Jamie! I can’t believe you had to suffer through such a tragedy. I”m glad you all were okay…pets included! I’m sure that memory will never leave you.

Wow, that’s an amazing story. I’m so sorry you had to go through that I guess family unity is a good silver lining.

How scary! A family once came to the bookstore where I worked and they needed help making a list of kids books. They couldn’t remember what titles they’d lost in their fire and had to have a list for the insurance company. I remember thinking how awful it must have been for them. Sorry you had to go through that!

A sad yet amazing tale Jamie.

Nothing irreplaceable was lost though. Can’t replace family.

Such a sad story ( I’m so glad everyone made it out okay, but I can’t imagine the feeling of loss.

It is funny how you can glean something lovely out of such a seemingly bad situations. Still, such a sad tale

This is such a beautifully written post. I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been.

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