Hi everybody it’s…. oh, well, that’s awkward.

You see, I’ve reinvented myself and gone anonymous recently, but I’m without anonymous moniker. You know something witty and sleek and a touch sexy, something that tells you what I’m all about without telling you WHO I AM. My favorite anonymous bloggers all have that something: Dooce, the Damsel, Deutlich. Maybe the key is having my name start with a D? Delight? Delicious? Dainty? Dandy? Dangereux? Dumb Dumb.

While I try to figure out exactly what I should be called (suggestions are welcome!) I’m really here to take up some space while Jamie’s away. I’m not really sure what to do in a guestblogging role, so I guess I’ll just butter up the host. Just like toast, but less calories! Like you, I find Jamie witty, adorable and all around rad. But seriously, the perfectness of her hair makes me hate her. Just a little. Like hate in the “I want to graft the follicles of hair off of her head while she’s sleeping and give myself the hair I’ve always wanted” way you hate someone. What is that too much?

Unfortunately the universe has something against me and the Lovely One ever meeting, and so we admire each other from a distance. Makes me think the Universe might actually implode if the two of us where to ever enter the same zip code. It would be just like the Rise of the Silver Surfer. (I actually don’t know what that means, because I’m only 19 minutes into the movie so please don’t ruin it for me! And yes I’m aware it came out like a zillion years ago, but I’m a little behind on video films, like I just saw the first Shrek! How funny was that, with that weird green creature in love with a girly princess! Improbable, but funny! I’ll tell you what I thought about Sex and the City in about 4 years!)

So yes, I love Jamie. We share important common interests, like recapping Project Runway (July 16th, the madness returns!) and thinking that Tyra has absolutely lost it. The latter is more like a statement of fact though, I’m sure we of the Intelligent Internets will agree. The only thing we can really disagree on is which team should prevail in the epic battle of good versus evil (Detroit Tigers vs. Chicago Wrong Sox), but I still respect her for being woefully mislead. I mean, I thought the Pussycat Dolls were really singing on So You Think You Can Dance Thursday night. Mistakes happen, Jamie!

Now that Jamie is appropriately scratching her head wondering why she ever asked me to guestblog, I think my work here is done. Happy weekend, everybody!