I don’t think I have ever met a more selfish person in my entire life. No, really. I think my mother takes the cake.

First, you come out of nowhere and tell my dad you want a divorce, days after Christmas. You acted like everything is fine and perfectly normal, didn’t say anything about it to anyone else and got mad at my dad for telling us. I guess, you must have been trying to keep this divorce a big secret. Maybe wait until the house is up for sale to tell your kids?

You have had this all planned out in your head and the rest of you family is nowhere in that plan.  You leak out little bits of information here and there about your big plan, but fail to include the person who should be included in this, my dad. You say you stayed for us for years, but shouldn’t staying together for the kids be a mutual thing? Obviously, my dad had no clue about this. You two were talking about retirement together not too long ago.

We have a house with no mortgage, but you are making us sell it. You need to get YOUR money. Even though none of the kids want to stay with you and could have a perfectly good house to live in. Why can’t you just move out? Nope, gotta get that cash.

You weave this web of lies. You change you story according to how others react. “Jamie’s dad..get out”. I ask, “where is my dad going to go?!” You say you never asked him to leave and would never do that. That’s only one of the many things you’ve said, then changed your story because people didn’t react well.

In January, you told me you were going to move out and get an apartment. I’m pretty sure it is almost April and unfortunately, you are still here. My dad is living in the basement. I really doubt that will change until you get your money. Luckily, the housing market is awesome, so we should sell the house quick. Hah.

My brother is the only one talking to you and even he thinks you’re insane. I haven’t spoken to you since you dropped this news. Every new thing you say or do, makes me want to talk to you even less. You would think it would bother you that one of your children doesn’t speak to you, but nope. It’s all about you. What children?

Of course, you are awesome with the timing. Last time, it was Christmas. This time? My birthday. No celebrating Jamie’s birthday because now everyone’s too broke. Damn those lawyer fees.

Oh, here’s a new piece of information you leaked out, but told my brother not to tell anyone — two weeks ago you had some secret surgery to remove a mass from your leg. Who has surgery and doesn’t tell their family? SERIOUSLY.

You’re the most selfish person I have ever known. You’re pushing your children farther and father away and don’t even care. I hope you’re fucking happy, because you have made everyone else miserable.

I hope writing this will help me let some of my anger go. Right now, I’d be perfectly content if I never spoke to you again, but no child should say that about their mother. Maybe one day when you realize how you have been this whole time, we can work on building a relationship again, but for now, I really want nothing to do with you.

but I had to put this up.

Happy Easter!

At 10:30 this morning, Edie and I walked in to the local Petsmart for our second day of puppy kindergarten. Armed with my clicker and bag of pup treats, we were ready for anything…well, except for the mob of people that descended upon little Edie right as we walked it. About 5 people, a family of 3 and two workers, rushed us as soon as we walked in, not even 5 feet past the door way. After about ten minutes of letting them love on my pup, I tried to make my way in the store and oh, wait…more people. I got stopped at least 10 times, while waiting for class to start. It was like Britney swarmed by paparazzi, except no cameras and Edie has better hair.

Then comes up a little baby girl, toddling up to Edie and calling her a “baby” and I pick up my pup, so she can pet her and then I feel wet.

Pupperoo got scared of the baby and took it out on my pants.

Thankfully, it wasn’t a lot. Off we went to the bathroom and I cleaned up as best as I could. Now I’m ready to sit in class for an hour with a big wet mark on my thigh. Awesome. I practically ran from the bathroom across the store to the training area, shouting, “Thanks!” to the “OMG she’s so cute!”s as I pushed past trying to the avoid the “can I pet her?”s, because I was not trying to get peed on again.

New puppies are killer on my wardrobe.

Edie is quite smart and picks up new things quick. The other puppies are doing great too. There is a Chow Chow named Tater Tot, a Miniature Australian Shepard named Grace and a German Shepard mix named Faith. Faith really isn’t a puppy and is HUGE. I’m not really sure why she is in our puppy class, as it is only until 9 months old but whatever. I’m really looking forward to it each week now. Grace and Edie are the best of friends and would play all class if we let them. I’m going to try to get it on video next week. Tater Tot and Faith are a little bigger and want to play too, but always end up scaring the little ones.

Here is Tater Tot, Edie’s classmate. Cute, isn’t she?

If you ever had a conversation with me, in person or even in IM, you know there are words I say ALL THE TIME. Hell, even in this blog here when I write.

- seriously
- obviously
- ridiculous
- awesome
- fabulous
- pupperoo (shut up, that is what I call my puppy)
- I know, right? (usually sounds like iknowright)
- dude (how can I forget that one!?)

Other puppy nicknames include:
- pup
- fluff
- Edie butt
- mamas
- my angel

I know there are tons more but for some reason I can’t think of them off the top of my head. I’ll edit this as they come to me!

Words or phrases you say all the time.

Go.

I’m guest blogging over at Jenna’s while she is away on business in New York. I’m talking about New York and what I would do when I go there. I’ve never been, so it was pretty fun thinking of stuff I would like to do.

Feel free to tell me how much of a tourist I am, New Yorkers! Or tell me how awesome my ideas are and what you would do, if there. Or just go say hi! Or just tell Jenna what a super cute design she has. Or tell me to stop starting sentences with “or”.

Splendid Really!

Things we learned/confirmed in this episode:

- Dominique is a fucking idiot
- “plus size” girls CAN do the splits
- someone stole Lauren’s shoes
- Tyra is ridiculous

(more…)

It’s all about Cupcake Crawls. Seriously. That is what a bunch of us Chicago bloggy people will be doing April 12th. Well, a bunch, if you all decide to come. If not, more cupcakes for Jenn and I!

Five places of yummy cupcakey goodness with some fabulous company. What more can you ask for?

You in?

Anyway, check out Jenn’s blog for more details!

No, not make me a supermodel.

Make Me a Supermodel on Bravo. Do you watch it? I do and I have a little beef with America.

America, you fail. How are you going to vote this beautiful boy off? He’s gorgeous! Casey, I love you. (more…)

I hate beer. I have never liked it. Yes, I am one of those girls. Well, maybe I would drink beer that tastes like magic because, really, who wouldn’t? To me, magic is Disney World. Beer that can give me Disney World AND strawberries all in one sip sounds freaking amazing in my book!

Anyway, you know those people who are like “It’s Friday!! Let’s go out and get WASTED!!!@!#!”?

Yeah, I’m most definitely not one of them. I’ve never have been. Okay, I lied. Maybe a few times when I was 19 and living in the dorms at DePaul, but that’s really it. I’m totally over that and think it’s kind of lame now. Now when I go out, I rarely drink, mainly because I always drive and I’m super paranoid. Occasionally, I will have a drink or two. I can guarantee you though, you will never find me drunk. My boyfriend’s been dating me for four years and I don’t think he has even seen me drunk, maybe slightly buzzed but that’s it.

When I go out, I stick with the standard vodka and cranberry or like, a gin and tonic.

You’re all like, “Damn, Jamie, could you be any more boring and predictable?”.

Now, I plead my case. I don’t know what else to get! Seriously, I don’t like going up to the bar and looking like an idiot trying to decide what to drink. I don’t know the names of pretty, frou frou looking cocktails.

How stupid would I sound saying, “Yes, can I have the pretty looking drink in the funny shaped glass, please?”

So my birthday is next week and I’m going out to celebrate. Help me not look like an idiot when I go up to the bar.

What are your favorite drinks?

Yummy tasting, please! I don’t do beer or shots.